Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule
by jomarch05
Summary: Spies don't fall in love. What happens if the Intersect is affected by Chuck's feelings for Sarah?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – Post Season 2 and a slightly different take of Season 3. I am taking the liberty of using Carina's quote.**

**Chuck is being tested and does not seem to be able to get through. Is Sarah helping or hindering? Will they finally be able to work as a full fledged team and have an equal partnership?**

**Thanks to DLK for beta'ing despite a busy couple of weeks.**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule **

_**Spies don't fall in love.**_

_**Carina Miller**_

He sees all the colors so clearly, the silver of the steel blade, the bright red beads of blood appearing as if by magic, as it presses into her skin, creamy white except for the cut that is appearing. Chuck looks into her clear blue eyes and does not see fear but only love and he flashes.

A multitude of images of Sarah scroll through his brain; All of her in various stages of being injured. A broken arm in Mexico city, slashes from a knife fight in Warsaw, a harrowing gun fight in Bratislava and scrapes and bruises from other battles, all culminating in a black and white shot of Sarah in a pool of blood, her eyes open and staring. A corporal reminder forever etched in his mind of what had occurred and what could occur again. The antiseptic medical terms from her files coalescing together to give him an innate understanding of how much physical hurts she had endured up until this point in time.

The flash is different from any of the others as it does not enhance any of his abilities but actually leaves him paralyzed with the knowledge of how precious and fragile Sarah's life is. He blinks rapidly as his eyes focus again on the scene before him.

The man holding firmly onto Sarah sneers as he adjusts his knife yet again, drawing just a bit more blood when her throat convulses. All Chuck can do is to stare, his hands held limply by his side as he focuses on the drop of blood rolling gently down the contour of her throat and disappearing into her neckline. He can hear his harsh breath and that of Casey's, however, try as he might, he cannot hear Sarah's.

"Damn it, Bartowski." He hears Casey's belligerent voice as Sarah finally makes her move and lashes out at her assailant, dropping him to the ground in five seconds as she hurries to get to him. He sees Casey jog past him towards the man on the floor to give him a hand as Sarah walks quickly towards him, concern written all over her face. Her left hand swiping at her neck, the sleeve of her shirt staining red.

"Chuck, are you ok?" Her touch is warm to his chilled skin and he realizes he's shaking, with fear or self-loathing, he cannot tell. "Here, come here." She pulls him into an awkward embrace, trying to wrap her body around him and provide him with an anchor of some sort.

He can see Casey talking quietly to the other man and finally realizes it had been a test, a stupid test that he had failed spectacularly. One of Beckman's main criteria for his induction into full spyhood. He pulls out of the embrace, not wanting to but needing to see Sarah's newest injury to add to the myriad he had already flashed on.

His hand tentatively reaches out to touch the small wound but is intercepted by her hands and her words. "Chuck, it's ok. It was my fault as I moved. In fact, I should be the one apologizing to Agent Frohicke for the move I did. Are you ok? " he finally looks down at her, expelling the breath that he did not know he had been holding.

"I….I couldn't do anything." His voice is soft and tentative as he tries to recall and articulate what exactly had transpired.

"Did you flash?" Casey's question is phrased in such a way that Chuck knows that he's just confirming something he already knows and all he can do is nod.

"So why the hell, did you not go all kung fu?" It's a valid question. Casey had not known it had been a test until he saw Sarah stop struggling with her assailant. She had still moved about but he could tell that it was more for show. Both he and Sarah had fought with Beckman about these tests as initially, she had wanted Chuck to go on a solo mission. In the end, they had compromised on testing Chuck's skills should one of his partners be in mortal danger.

Casey was sure it was going to be a walk in the park considering Chuck's kung fu fighting his way through the Ring members. However, it had not been the case tonight. He had clearly seen all the signs of a flash in Chuck but none of the abilities. He let's out an exasperated grunt as he takes in Chuck's bewildered demeanor. His eyes flick to Walker and he grunts in response before stalking off to give her the time her look had signalled.

"I don't know." Chuck lowers his head and closes his eyes only to open them again as he could still see the pictures of injuries from Sarah's past case files. He's actually glad that Casey has stalked off because he does not know if he can convey what happened without exposing his fears. "I saw you." He finally looks at her when he states this.

Sarah can see that he's going into shock and holds onto his hand as she tries to make sense of what had just happened. She had been grabbed from behind and dragged backwards, as they passed by the alleyway and had only realized that the man was an agent when he used his code word. She had looked at Chuck as he flashed and prepared herself for an onslaught of some kind, only to see Chuck freeze up.

"Hey, it's fine. We're ok. I just need to know what you saw"

He swallows, not sure if he can or even wants to describe the pictures in his head. Chuck recalls that he has only seen Sarah beaten a handful of times and in all of them, she had come out the winner. His flash had showed him the flip-side of battles she had not outright won. They showed him what could still occur and it frightened him beyond all measure.

"It was a test, a stupid test and we're fine." She wants it to be the truth but she can see him slipping away. Not physically, but he had seen something in his flash and it was bothering him to the point of making him almost paralyzed.

"It could have turned into Warsaw." He shakes his head as if to clear the pictures from his mind but he knows that he will never be able to forget them anytime soon. "What if…" he does not finish the sentence because he does not want to think of a world where she is not next to him, alive and well.

Sarah places both of her hands on his face as she stares into his eyes, willing him to see that she is there, whole and alive. "I'm here and this isn't Warsaw. What did you see exactly?"

"Your case files, all of them when you got injured in some way and needed medical attention." The words are spoken dispassionately not because he is numb but because he wants to distance himself from this nightmare where he is as ineffective as he was before. Only this time, it meant not being able to back up Sarah or even Casey when he was actually suppose to.

"I couldn't move. No powers, nothing. I'm sorry." He looks at Casey who is on the phone and understands that he has to report this in. That General Beckman is going to know that he had failed in his test. Perhaps it's for the best though as he does not want to place Sarah or Casey in unnecessary danger. The only problem is the look of sadness and disappointment on Sarah's face that she is valiantly trying to hide.

Sarah holds onto his hand as tightly as she can as she processes his words. He had been frightened for her and had flashed on images that he should not have seen. It saddens her that for all that he has done for her and their country, he still has to carry the burden alone. She's disappointed with herself that she had not seen the signs earlier. "You have nothing to be sorry about." She pulls on his hand as he turns away. "Chuck?" The question she is asking is implied in her tone but he does not want to face her as he pulls away and walks towards the mouth of the alley, wanting to get away from the scene of his failure.

"Let him go." She's about to run after him but stops at Casey's words. "He needs…"Sarah knows that he needs her as much as she does him but in this instance, she's at a loss because she really does not know what else to say or how to help him.

"He needs to pull his head out of his ass"

"Casey!" Her rebuke is quick as she whips around to confront her partner, her expression both cold with anger and frustration.

"Don't kill the messenger, Walker. He asked for this chance. You were there, he practically begged Beckman to make him an agent." Casey softens his tone as he takes in Walker's guilty expression. "You didn't force him into this"

She wants so badly to believe him but deep down, she knows that contrary to Casey's words, she had forced Chuck into this. Not directly but every word she had uttered, every action on her part in relation to Chuck had always shown that he was not her equal. That he wasn't a spy but an asset.

"I could have stopped him. We could have…" Again, she knows she is saying just a tad too much but she doesn't care anymore. She figures that Casey already guessed most of it by now.

"You wouldn't have gotten very far and he's too honorable to just walk away… and so are you." He had guessed that she would have had a backup plan. He did, in case he ever got burned although the closest he had ever come to initiating anything was when he had first met Ilsa.

Her face softens as does her voice. "He said we would regret it if we just walked away. That we owed it to ourselves to give it all a try." She really believed his words, had nodded as he said them even though in her heart, she had finally admitted to wanting a normal life with him.

She looks at Chuck's silhouette dark against the window of their car and wonders if he regrets his decision. She does not want to think too specifically in terms of whether he regrets his decision to become a spy or worse yet, regrets his decision to love her and stay.

End Part 1

**Questions? Comments? Should I continue?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – Welcome along for the ride. I was planning on this being two or three chapters long but I'm beginning to realize I do like serialized stories so I guess this is going to be slightly longer than that. Thanks to DLK for beta'ing and giving really great feedback too . Hope you like chapter 2**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**Is she worth dying for?**_

_**Roan Montgomery**_

The drive home is relatively quiet and he's glad that he can use driving as an excuse for not really discussing his failure tonight. He glances over at her and can tell from her posture that she's holding something in. She's checking the chamber of her gun but her mind is a million miles away and it's not difficult to guess that she's most probably thinking about his failure tonight and how he's just not a spy. He sees her put the gun back in the glove compartment, her hands finally clenched in her lap.

He pushes those thoughts away as he shifts up a gear, thinking about how much Sarah likes to drive fast and how he had been surprised when she had tossed him the keys to the Mustang, his first week into training.

"_You want me to wash it?" It's the only thing he can think of as to why she had given him the keys. Sarah had laughed out loud and he had reveled in the sound, wishing she did it more often. The car is a beauty, not too sleek but so very powerful and so like her to choose it._

"_It's yours." All he could do was stare as she shrugged her shoulders and climbed in on the passenger side, giving him a wink and that special smile as she disappeared into the car._

"Chuck?" It's the cadence of her voice that gives her away nowadays. He can tell when she's angry or sad or feeling romantic and right now, he hates it because he can tell that she's feeling guilty, although for the life of him, he cannot understand why; he was the one that screwed up.

"I don't want to talk about it." He knows it's quite an about turn for him as he's usually the one to initiate conversations between them but right now, all he wants to do is wallow. Well, that and to really think about how he needs to step up and protect her or at the very least ensure that it's his life on the line and not hers. They were equals now and he knows he needs to step up although the test tonight did show that he was a long way from being a spy.

"Well I do." Sarah had not wanted to force the issue but she needs him to snap out of whatever he's feeling and it's the only thing that has at least made him look at her instead of at the road. "It's a common response… freezing up I mean. I…" She's never lied to him to make a point or to get him to do anything that he didn't want to do and it's difficult to start now. She can relate though, considering she couldn't take the shot eighteen months ago. She knows she did not freeze but made a choice not to put his life in further danger.

"Don't. Please." He pulls into the carpark of the hotel but does not exit the car. "It's not a common response and definitely not something a spy should experience."

"I had a different childhood but it still did not prepare me for any of this." Sarah turns to face him as she places her hand atop his. "You just need to give it some more time. The Intersect."

He cuts her off because he needs her to understand that she cannot depend on the Intersect or, more accurately, she cannot depend on him. "I flashed. The problem was that the information was useless and I'm useless." He can still vividly see all the ways in which she had been hurt and can't help his involuntary shudder.

"I'm right here and we'll get through this." She knows it's the right thing to say when she sees his small smile as he looks up at her, his brown eyes finally coming to life.

He can recall the two times he's ever initiated a kiss, starting from the cheap motel room and ending with him pulling her into a kiss when Beckman finally agreed to his appointment into the CIA. He's never done it on any other occasion because he's still unsure why she's actually with him and does not want to drive her away with his need.

However he really needs the physical certainty that she is really there as he closes the gap between them. She does not blink as she holds his gaze and only closes her eyes as their lips touch. Her fingers though are already undoing his buttons and he has to play catch up when she pushes his shirt back. He's still surprised that he's able to think clearly at this point in time, knowing that Sarah is there with him, wanting him, that it's her hands roaming across his abdomen and her nimble fingers undoing his fly. He does not care that she probably knows that he's feeling inadequate and needs this validation. It's the only thing that is making him forget his failure as he finally loses himself in her.

* * *

"Better?" Even though his eyes are closed, Chuck can tell Sarah is smiling as she asks the question. She's cradled in his lap, her head resting under his chin, his hands held securely around her. It's not the most comfortable position for him but he really does not feel like moving.

Chuck does not want what they have to be a cliché and knows that doing it in a Mustang definitely qualifies. However, he's also cognizant that she's always been different and despite her wealth of knowledge of all things espionage related, she's as much of a novice as he is in the real relationship department. He hopes she knows how special she makes him feel. "I should be asking you if it was any good."

It's good to hear her laugh as she turns around to face him and he does his eyebrow waggle to great effect. "I love you." She's never said the words before and it nearly stops his heart. It takes him a good five seconds to remember how to breathe before he answers her.

"I love you too." His voice is soft but the words still reverberate in the enclosed car as if cocooning them with their spoken connection.

Chuck sees her mouth open to respond only to be distracted by the breaking glass from the windshield. He feels the slivers of glass rain down around them only to suddenly fall backwards as the car door is yanked open.

Her reaction is almost instantaneous the second she registered the sound of a force hitting and splintering the car windshield. She sees Chuck fall backwards as the door swings open, one hand reaches for her gun that is not there, even as her other hand reaches out to grab at Chuck, ducking behind the dashboard when she hears another shot.

It's the sound of the shot that triggers his flash. But like before, the flash again provides him access to Sarah's past files, this time case histories and pictures of her in the line of fire, times where she had to put her life on the line to protect someone else. A slew of information, photos and case files highlighting all the different ways she had place someone else's life above her own. Reports of strangers she had protected interspersed with cases they had been on together where she had agreed in writing to place his life above her own, every single time.

His head hits the pavement with a dull thud although he does not register the pain. It's only when he's yanked up and he hears her voice call out to him that he reacts. Not with a new skill from the Intersect but with an impetus to stop her from putting her life on the line for him. He twists his body and tumbles out of the car, all hands and feet. He notes the masked gunman but his focus is on the gun, aimed at Sarah as she scrambles to yank open the glove compartment.

Sarah barely catches the edge of his jacket as his body weight pulls her forward and she hears his head hit the pavement, his eyes fluttering about, indicating a flash. She curses when she realizes her gun is not on her person and in the split second chooses to pull Chuck upwards instead of reaching for the glove compartment. It only takes another few seconds to realize it's the wrong choice when she sees the man holding the gun aimed at them. She calls out to Chuck, her voice tinged with fear for him only to have it heightened further when he pulls away, tumbling out of her grip and making himself a target. She does not look at the gun instead focusing on getting her own weapon.

It's an easy choice for Chuck as he quickly scrambles upwards, positioning his body between the gun and Sarah, ensuring that the trajectory of the bullets would have no chance of hitting her. He hears the shots and the sound startles him more than the impact as he is propelled forward by the force. Surprisingly, he does not feel any pain although he knows his consciousness is slipping away as he falls bonelessly to the ground.

Sarah freezes for the first time in her career when she hears the report from the gun. Her hand hovers above her own weapon as her head whips up to see Chuck's body blocking her view of the outside. Her mind only registering what he had done when she sees him slide down to the floor, his brown eyes closed. She feels a multitude of emotions all fighting within her and cannot differentiate between pain and crushing sadness any longer. Her hand finally closing around her gun.

"Agent Walker. Mission code is Firestarter." The man knows her name and the code and it finally registers that Beckman would never just do anything one off. Beckman's plans would always be more elaborate and intricate and more punishing for Chuck. Her heart is still racing though as she places her palm over it, hoping to catch her breath as she acknowledges that Chuck's not shot. "Tell me they were twilight darts." Her voice surprisingly calm although she knows she is hanging on by a thread. She stares at the agent, his mask in his hand as he puts his gun back in his holster.

"Yeah, we rigged the sound of real bullets as well as targeted propulsion to add to the realism of the test." His expression turns into slight disgust as he looks down at Chuck's inert form. "What a pussy."

Sarah does not regret her next move as she fires her own gun, the bullet just barely nicking the agent's ear. She turns to hide her smile when she hears the string of expletives coming out of his mouth.

"Sorry," her voice not even carrying any hint of contrition. "I must have slipped." She climbs out of the car and checks Chuck's pulse. She positions herself to ensure that she'll be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

She knows that he had flashed but instead of martial arts, he had just used his body as a shield to protect her. Sarah does not want him to regret their relationship but right now, she is regretting her decision to stay. The fear and hopelessness she had felt when she thought he had been shot was beyond all measure and she truly wonders if she's brave enough to face the prospect of that actually happening.

**The End**

Reviews makes this author incredibly ecstatic!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – I was actually vacillating between this quote and one of Sarah's but decided that I'll keep Sara's quote for Ch 4. Anyway, enjoy the chapter and thanks as always to DLK for correcting all the errors and spelling mistakes.**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

…_**I have to go, I love her.**_

_**Chuck Bartowski**_

Chuck comes to slowly, each of his senses taking turns to kick in sequentially such that he feels her hand on his cheek before he hears her voice and smells her perfume. He blinks open his eyes to finally confirm that he's prone on the road next to his car, looking up at the worried face of Sarah. She's trying her best to hide the worry but her eyes have always been so expressive that he can tell she's anxious as one hand caresses his cheek and her other hand holds his hand in a viselike grip. "What happened?" His memory is fuzzy and the only clear thing he can recall is Sarah telling him that she loved him. He savors that memory, clinging to it because he cannot recall anything else.

Sarah spent the last eight minutes vacillating between telling him the whole truth or just some semblance of the truth but knows she does not want to condone his actions regardless of how valiant they were. "Chuck, it was another test." She sees his face fall as he assumes the worst and has to bite her tongue not to blurt out the truth about his heroism.

She's never been ruled by her fear, always recognizing that it's the easiest way to get one killed in her line of work. However, she's also never been in a situation where she's been rendered completely ineffective solely on the basis that she thought Chuck was dead. "General Beckman initiated another test. Agent Byers was dispatched to target us for assassination." She's not telling him anything and knows he will fill in the blanks with a version that is as far from the truth as possible.

The problem is that she's actually still paralyzed with fear, the scene of his body falling to the ground playing in a loop in her mind such that she has to think before enunciating any words, knowing that all she really wants to do is to take him and run.

"I flashed but couldn't do anything again, right?" He states this in a defeated tone as he sees her eyes brim with tears. "Are you ok?" This time, it's his voice that takes on an anxious tinge such that she can no longer blink away her tears as they roll down her cheek, her breath coming in short gasps as she tries and fails to hold it all in.

Her reaction finally spurring him on further as he sits up, his eyes and hands roam all over her to see if she is indeed hurt. "Sarah, are you okay?" His voice is more strident this time as it finally breaks though to her and she nods as she tries to tamp down on her emotions, knowing that what she's about to tell him will change their dynamic forever.

"I got off a warning shot before he used his code phrase. You were unarmed and first out of the car so he shot you. I saw you go down." Her description of their actions were all correct in their execution but totally wrong in the context of what actually occurred. She's convinced herself that this does not count as lying even though she cannot fully look him in the eye as she recounts what had transpired, instead looking off to the side and then down, blinking away the rest of her tears.

"You were hit by twilight darts; they contain a drug that disrupts short term memory. I'm fine." The last bit added for his benefit and most definitely a lie as she feels her heart clench as she again replays the scene in her mind of his body falling away.

"I'm sorry." His grip is surprisingly strong as he holds onto her hand and apologizes. Sarah feels another wave of pain and sadness threaten to overwhelm her as she clenches her jaw and helps him up, taking his weight onto herself. "I'm so sorry."

She knows she can stop his self-flagellation at any time but she holds her tongue because she will not accept losing him. "It's ok. We can talk to Beckman; see if there is another way. " She tells herself it's to protect him as realization slowly dawns that she is a coward and she's the one holding him back. He's the hero here but she's finally realized that she does not want Chuck the hero. She just wants Chuck. "We'll get some sleep and touch base with Casey in the morning."

Chuck smiles at her, one corner of his mouth higher than the other, a loving expression on his face. "I promise I'll do whatever it takes." He does not understand the fear he sees in her eyes as he says this but accepts that he needs to step up and be the hero she needs; someone she can rely on, someone who can protect her unconditionally.

* * *

He can tell that she's finally fallen asleep as her breathing evens out and the crease in the middle of her forehead disappears. He would like nothing more than to wrap himself around her and pretend that all is well. But he had created this mess and he needed to fix it. He was the one who had convinced her to stay.

"_What I'm saying is will you run away with me." For once her voice was void of her confidence as she looked at him, hope, love and fear mixed in her expression. For the longest time, it had been the one totem that he had held onto, the day when they would finally be together, no lies and no other impediments in their way._

_Only, he knows he cannot say yes and that she's forgoing her own needs in order to protect him yet again. "How can I turn my back on this when I know what's in my head can save people? You taught me about the greater good and I can't turn my back on that, on you." He does not like to see her face fall at his initial words or the fact that she's trying to hold back her tears._

"_What I'm trying to say is Sarah, I love you." It's the first time he has said those words in years and to be honest, it's the first time he's meant them with every fiber of his being. "We can do this together, we'll regret it if we don't."_

Words to him have never been meaningless but they lose their power when they cannot be backed up by actual deeds. It's with this understanding that Chuck finally makes a decision that he realizes he should have made from the start. Before he acts though, he turns to look at her, to commit this exact tableau to memory because he understands that in moving forward, he will have to accept that he would need to do some things on his own.

He does not look too closely as to why he's sneaking out of their bed at two in the morning but convinces himself that he needs to do this now so that when she wakes up, he'll be able to put her mind at ease that she does not have to keep looking out for him because for once, he has finally stepped up to be that guy.

The fluorescent light in the bathroom is stark and the reflection he sees in the mirror highlights a man with no other choice but to accept the inevitable and take the chance he had been offered all along. He dials the number and hopes in vain that she does not pick up.

"Beckman" Even at this ungodly hour, she sounds pissed and alert. It's the one similarity with Casey that still makes him wonder if they are distantly related or if it's just a military thing.

"Yes, General. I'm sorry to call. It's Chuck by the way. Um, I hope I'm not disturbing you…" His train of thought is somewhat derailed when his vivid imagination starts to picture her in military inspired pajamas.

"Bartowski." The warning in her voice is enough to bring him back to reality and the importance of the call.

"Yeah, sorry. I failed your tests today." He starts with the obvious but does not wait for her response. "I need to go on a solo mission. Take the training wheels off. I can do it and I need to prove it." He does not state that he needs to prove it to himself because right now, he just does not trust himself with Sarah's life and he needs to know once and for all. If his thought process was even remotely correct, he needs to do this without Sarah. Not because she is a distraction but because he needs to know that he can really be there for her as an equal partner.

"What are you saying, Agent Bartowski? Colonel Casey and Agent Walker were adamant in not agreeing to a solo mission and by your recent performance; I am inclined to agree that you are not ready." She does not let on that she has his file on her desk and had been close to redacting his status.

"These tests won't work. The Flashes are not directed enough. I need a mission. You've read the files. You know what I've done, what I'm capable of." His voice does not waver and he holds one of his arms behind his back, a facsimile of a military pose although it's more because he does not want to show how nervous he really is.

"Very well. A mission file will be sent to Castle in the morning. This won't be a test Agent Bartowski." He's as surprised as she is as he hears her voice take on a more considerate tone. "I hope you truly know what you're doing here and good luck."

He hangs up and makes his way back to Sarah. She's still asleep although he can tell she's getting restless as her body turns instinctively towards his side of the bed. He slips beneath the covers in time to intercept her hand as it drapes possessively across his stomach. He savors her closeness as he closes his eyes, finally able to rest, knowing that he's one step closer to finally deserving Sarah's love.

* * *

"No." Her voice reverberates around Castle's high ceiling as she stands there arms akimbo and stares down the General. "He's my..."She wants to say life but knows its meaning is beyond Beckman's comprehension. He started out as an asset and she still cannot pinpoint the exact time when he became more, more than a partner, more than a friend and definitely more than her equal.

She had not suspected anything when Chuck had told her he was wanted at Castle early, only to be blindsided by the news when Casey had called informing her that Chuck was on his way to his first solo mission.

"Agent Walker, you are to stand down." The warning in Beckman's tone was no longer implied.

"He's my partner, General. I need to be there for my partner." Her voice does not waver but Casey can see that her hands are holding onto the table so tightly that he's almost sure that the sharp edges is cutting into her palm.

"She's right General. We need to observe Bartowski to see his reactions in the field and to extract if necessary. He's still too valuable."

"Very well but you are not to interfere. The Agent in charge is one Daniel Shaw. Chuck's been sent to retrieve some intel for him. They're in Paris. I'll let him know you're en route"

Sarah does not even wait as she takes the steps two at a time, knowing that she just needs to get to Chuck.

**The End**

**Reviews make me write faster :) Or at least they put me in a good mood which makes me feel like writing and you get the point so I'm going to stop now. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N – I love this quote because we all know she's talking about Chuck and Chuck's the only one who doesn't know! Anyway, I did write faster so reviews help! Thanks to DLK for beta'ing despite despising Shaw. As a character, he can be interesting and hopefully that comes across just don't picture the wooden potrayal from the show ****!**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**"What can I say? I have a type."**_

_**Sarah Walker**_

The last time she had picked up the habit of biting her nails to the quick was just after her mom had died and she expected her dad to leave her and not come back, each time he went on a con. She'd wait for him, facing the door, biting her nails sometimes until they bled and only stopping when she heard his key in the lock.

Sarah can't see Chuck because there are no cameras in the warehouse, although right now, she can at least hear him breathing as he slowly makes his way along the walkways towards his target. She looks over at Casey as he consumes yet another Kirsch Bûchette and wants to ask him a question, but the presence of Shaw stops her.

"Agent Walker, do you have something to say?" She almost answers him because his delivery is flawless, his voice laced with just the right amount of concern and authority. However, she knows what type of person he is and how dangerous he can be so she looks directly at Shaw, smiles and shakes her head.

Her act though does not work as he glances at her fingertips, noticing her tell. "I briefed him personally and Agent Bartowski seems extremely competent." Shaw does not wait for her answer as he turns back to the console and opens the channel to give Chuck his next set of instructions. "Chuck, you need to flash on the alarm schematics. What I have is two years old and we know they changed it recently."

"Roger that or should I say copy that because I don't know who the blazes Roger is." A nervous laugh comes through the speaker causing Casey to roll his eyes. "Anyway, I need to look at the wiring before…." Chuck trails off as he feels the onset of a Flash. Pictures and documents pertaining to the entire complex along with a full understanding of the alarm system flashes through his mind.

She leans forward when she hears his voice tapers off, her hands holding the armrest, her body poised to spring out and run towards the warehouse. She does not feel Casey's hand on her forearm until he presses down and she looks up at him to see his face and note that he's silently reminding her that she cannot do anything unless Chuck gets into trouble.

"Chuck, can you deactivate the alarm?" Shaw's voice is calm as if he's expected this and when he glances at her, she barely manages to school her features into something less emotional.

"Yeah, I'm climbing down to deactivate it now. I can hear voices coming from the room though. I can't make out much." Chuck is trying his best not to think about Sarah although she is always in the forefront of his mind. To be honest, it's the only thing that is keeping him from freaking out. Being in Paris is one thing but stealing from the Russian mob is another and he wishes that Sarah and Casey were here instead of the cold Agent Shaw.

His briefing had been, for want of a better word, relatively brief and all he understood was that he needed to obtain a briefcase in Paris by whatever means necessary. Shaw had provided him with all the relevant information but no context as to his role. He's been spoilt in working with Sarah and Casey and understands that in the real spy world, all he has to rely on is himself.

"Once you deactivate the alarm, you need to go into that room." Shaw's voice is so composed and such a difference from Sarah's warmth or Casey's caustic tone that it actually puts him off. Chuck hears the words and finally understands his mission and cannot help the small gasp as he realizes that he will need to confront the men in the room in order to get to the briefcase.

It's his small gasp that makes her finally react as she closes the channel to Chuck's mic and turns on Daniel Shaw. "He's going to need backup and I'm going in." She does not expect Shaw to take it well and is unsurprised when she sees him pull his gun. She does not waver though because she knows Casey has her back.

"You heard Agent Walker." Casey never thought that he could dislike someone more than he did Bryce but Shaw just rubbed him the wrong way. He understood the need to keep one's emotion in check and knows that was Walker's main weak point. However, Shaw just seemed too perfect, too good to be true and just on that principal, Casey was predisposed to distrust him, his gun aimed for the kill shot.

"Sarah, don't do this. Think of Chuck" His gun is trained on her although his finger is not on the trigger. Shaw knows he needs to appeal to her emotions despite the information in her file. "Chuck can do this, he needs to do this." Beckman had given him full access to their files and he had assumed that her anecdotal information gave him all the information he needed on Team Bartowski. The problem though was that he recognized Sarah's current expression. Her actions were not driven by honor or duty but solely by love whether she acknowledged it or not. The only reason he could recognize it was because of Eve.

"He's all I think about." Sarah does not mean to be so honest but it's the truth and something that she will not hide. "Shoot me or not but either way, I'm going in." She hears Casey's grunt in response and knows he has her back as she exits the truck.

"Are you going to shoot me?" Shaw directs his question at Case as he reaches to turn Chuck's connection back on.

"I might." Casey smirks in response, his finger still on the trigger.

"Chuck, your back up is on the way. Hang tight." Shaw's read all their files and so far, their responses have been pitch perfect and exactly how he had predicted they would be. He's waited five years to get his revenge on the Ring and he knows that he needs them on his side to finally accomplish his goal. He looks at Casey and lowers his gun. He thinks that in other circumstances, he would really enjoy working with these people but in his mind he has but one goal and he will use them to fulfill it regardless of whatever happens.

Sarah does not look back as she runs towards the building, scaling the wall in record time. She sees Chuck's entry point into the building and follows his trail, comforted that she will see him soon. She's always been so sure in her choices, be it joining the CIA or accepting Bryce's advances, but the one clear thought in her mind is that she has finally found what she had been searching for all this time; someone whom she loves and trusted unconditionally and someone whom she would not fail again.

Sarah knows exactly what she wants to say to him when she sees him. She needs to tell him that he's everything she's ever wanted and that it's him, not the Intersect or the heroic deeds, just him. She never really knew what she had until she thought he was gone and she won't make the mistake again. He's all she wants and all she really needs.

Chuck can hear the men arguing in the room, the sounds escalating into a fight such that he almost misses Shaw's message. "When Agent Walker gets there, obtain the briefcase by whatever means necessary." Chuck does not wait though as he rushes into the room, his eyes closed, concentrating on the argument and he flashes.

The now familiar feeling of gaining a new ability takes hold of his senses but interspersed with that information, he once again becomes privy to Sarah's files; pictures of her with Bryce, information on their partnership, on their near perfect compatibility on and off the job as documented by the CIA . Chuck pushes those thoughts aside, as he confronts the four men.

His moves look almost choreographs as he takes out one man after the next. He sees the last man standing before him a gun in his hand and he reacts without thinking, kicking out at the gun, sending it flying into the air. He looks up following its arc and from the corner of his eye, sees the man jump forward, his hand outstretched reaching for the gun as it falls down and Chuck makes his own move.

It's the sound of the gunshot that startles her such that she forgoes her own safety as she leaps down the rest of the way, landing badly on her left leg. She ignores the pain as she limps forward, wanting to call out to Chuck but she is still bound by the tenets of her job which require stealth at times like these.

She holds her gun out as she enters the room, knowing that she would have no problems pulling the trigger on anyone who had the audacity to shoot Chuck. She sees three men prone on the ground near the entrance. Its only when she fully enters the room does she see the fourth man, blood pooling beneath his body and Chuck kneeling next to him, a terrified expression on his face as he looks down at his hands.

Sarah follows his line of sight and sees the gun held limply in his hand. "Chuck?" She hates the uncertainty in her voice and knows that once again, that even though she recognizes the man before her, his actions are not his own. She is not frightened of him but for him because she knows his conscience will not let him rest; that he will not be able to reconcile his actions as doing the right thnig, instead focusing on the fact that he has taken a life.

"I…the gun. I caught…the gun." Chuck cannot look at her as he does not want to see the realization dawn in her eyes. He already knows he will not be able to look into a mirror or close his eyes anytime soon. He feels her hand on his and is surprised that he can feel her touch and that he is still comforted by it. He can remember catching the gun and then only the sound of the shot. He feels cold all of a sudden and starts to shiver.

"Chuck the room is secure, get the briefcase and get out. Now." He can hear Shaw's instructions but the words do not make any sense as he finally drops the gun and clings onto Sarah. His hands around her waist , his head buried in her side and his eyes open and unfocused.

"We need to get out of here, can you walk?" Her tone is low and intimate as she strokes his hair. She wants to cry because she knows he won't. He does not answer but at least he nods as she slowly helps him to his feet. She sees the briefcase under the leg of the slain man and reaches to grab it, ignoring the blood soaked handle.

She holds Chuck's hand tightly as she leads them back to the truck, the words she wanted to say to him stuck in her throat because he's morphed into someone he thinks she wants and it scares her because all she wants is Chuck.

**The End**

**Thanks for reading, please review and I will continue to write as fast as I can!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N – As much as I love writing Charah, I also have a soft spot for Casey and its just fun to write him so I hope it works here. Initially this story was a 3 part arc post season 2 but now, I'm going to see how I can parallel season 3. Enjoy**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**The choice we made to protect something bigger than ourselves is the right choice. **_

_**John Casey**_

John Casey has been in numerous battles, fighting in overt wars or as part of a guerilla unit, going in undercover and extracting just before their deeds were discovered. In all battles, the one constant he always bore witness to was the myriad of reactions when newbies had their first kill. A small few would crow like it had been a right of passage but the majority would start to question their own mortality, finally realizing that with that one decision, they had done something beyond what normal folks would do. They had gone further than most people and for a few of them, they never found their way back.

He can hear Sarah's soft murmur above the sound of the truck's engine as she cradles Bartowski in her arms. It's an intimate scene that should not have witnesses but it's also endemic of their situation. He respects Walker and he acknowledges that Bartowski has come a long way. The problem as he saw it, though, was that they were trying to start something but couldn't agree on where to begin and have been grappling with it ever since. It complicated matters, love always did, especially when spies were involved .

"We're going to need to report out." He directs his words at the both of them even though he can see that Chuck is in no position to answer him, much less the General. "How do you want to handle this?"

Sarah knows he's asking her how she wants to handle Beckman and Shaw but also how she wants to handle Chuck. She does not answer him as she bends down to whisper in Chuck's ear, hoping that her words get through to him, praying that they reach him.

It's a weird sensation for Chuck to feel every bump from the truck as it drives over potholes but not be able to feel anything inside. He holds onto Sarah like a lifeline, his ear on her chest as he strains to hear her heartbeat. Every beat signifying that he is still alive despite the choices he has made.

He feels her breath warm on his cheek as she bends down and whispers in his ear, "It's ok, we'll get through this, I love you." Words strung together in a way that would bring meaning to his existence, words that should make him feel; only they don't register inside. He hears them as clearly as he hears her heartbeat. He can feel her warmth seep into his cold body but he cannot seem to feel anything else.

She remembers crying under the shower the first time she took a life. She had stayed in the bathroom for three hours, only coming out when Bryce threatened to break the door down. She hasn't forgotten any of her kills but she's also perfected the art of compartmentalization, keeping parts of herself locked away. She wonders which part Chuck has locked away and hopes it's not lost to her.

Her words are not getting through and she still owes Casey an answer. Sarah can see her choices are limited but at least she can protect Chuck for a while longer as she reaches for her bag. She sees Casey's questioning look but does not answer him, instead just taking out the small black case.

Chuck does not feel the pinprick of the needle, only the effects of it as his eyelids suddenly feel so heavy and shut almost involuntarily. He feels his hands loosen their grip on Sarah and registers her 'I love you' before he falls unconscious.

* * *

He hears their voices talk over each other, their tones only distinguishable by tenor. Sarah's voice is urgent and low while Shaw's has that measured calmness to it. Chuck slowly opens his eyes and sees Casey looking directly at him.

"Had a good rest, Sleeping Beauty?" Casey wonders what it would take to jolt him back, knowing that Walker's approach had not worked so he takes out a bottle of Johnnie Walker black label, pouring it into two glasses.

"Where am I?" Chuck slowly gets up, regretting his question as he notices his surroundings, knowing that Casey's going to give him grief.

"You're on a plane moron, probably somewhere over the North Atlantic Ocean. Here." He doesn't like drinking with company, only doing so in the few instances where camaraderie calls for it. He has learnt over the years that alcohol makes him more maudlin than not and even though it helps him forget, he looks at it as a sign of weakness that he cannot afford to show.

Chuck takes the glass as the amber liquid sloshes over the side, dripping down over his fingers and into the carpet. He's never acquired a taste of hard liquor, preferring beer or wine. He remembers doing shots in college but even then, those days fast disappeared after he got kicked out.

It's only when he thinks of college and then of Bryce, does everything come back to him, the warehouse and the gun and finally the rest that Sarah had accorded him. He downs the drink in one swallow, feeling the burn as it slides down his throat. "So you think this will do a better job than the sedatives Sarah gave me?" There is an edge to his voice that is unfamiliar to him.

Casey pours him another drink and takes a swallow of his own before answering. "Depends on what you're trying to forget. Walker's gift is her damn ability to compartmentalize every little bit of emotion she has. All tucked away, kept apart. Took you a long time to pry some of it out of her."

He sees Chuck nod at his statement before grimacing as he once again downs the drink in his hand. "Me, I don't want to forget. Each kill should not be made lightly but with the knowledge that in doing so, I've made the world just a little bit safer." He looks at the liquid in his glass and not at Chuck. It's not a lie if it's the way he would like to view things, although deep down, Casey knows he would welcome forgetting if he let himself.

Intellectually, he understands what Casey is trying to tell him. He even gets Sarah's message as she held him in the truck. He knows he has to deal with killing someone and he'll need Sarah to help him through that. What he cannot articulate and what he cannot share with Casey is that he does not remember pulling the trigger.

He remembers the Flash and the subsequent fight and even catching the gun. What scares him beyond all understanding is the fact that he cannot recall pulling the trigger and he wonders who else he will unknowingly kill next.

"So which will it be?" Casey holds up the bottle in one hand and a pillow in the other and waits for Chuck to make up his mind.

* * *

She can hear them talking in the back and wonders what Casey had said that made the difference. She's not jealous because she knows how much Chuck loves her and how much he would sacrifice for her but she still feels a small twinge as she hears his voice respond to Casey.

"Pour me another drink and give me the pillow."

She walks up to him, wanting to place her hands on his shoulder, to believe that her touch matters but in the end, she slips them in her pocket as she leans against his chair. "Are you ok?"

Just three syllables but encompassing his entire world and he realizes he cannot answer her question. Not if he does not want to lie to her and so he tries to deflect as he looks at her, his eyes unblinking. But all he can see is her determination and he finally relents. "I don't know."

The fleeting warmth of the alcohol leaves him colder than before. He sees Casey get up to leave and Sarah taking his place, pulling Chuck's hands into her lap as she rubs them. "Shaw and I reported your mission to Beckman. He's calling it a success."

"And you?" He looks at her, wondering why he can't feel the love he knows is there but recognizing he can't feel anything right now.

"You did what was asked of you. What was necessary in that situation. You did a spy's job, Chuck." She had wanted so badly to protect him from this so that he would not have to face the same demons she did.

"Spies don't have feelings Chuck. They bury them deep inside because feelings can get you killed." She sees him recoil at her words and she finally sees the hurt in his eyes.

He does not want to accept what she's saying because he knows that she loves him despite her words, though it does not stop the hurt suffusing through him, finally breaking down the internal barrier he had erected.

"Only, I love you and I need to know that you will let me help you get through this." She finally pulls him towards her as she kisses him.

* * *

"I don't think you should go in there." Casey blocks his path as he turns to stretch his legs and puts them on the seat across the aisle.

"Colonel Casey, you weren't at the briefing so I'll forgive you for not realizing that General Beckman has given me full purview of the team. We're going after the Ring and I am in charge." Shaw cannot figure out Casey. His file highlights all the reasons why he should not be a compatible member of the team but all their case histories prove otherwise.

"I figured as much. Still not going to let you go in there though. He did the job you wanted and it cost him enough." Casey hated Bryce because the son of a bitch was too cocky but he did have some grudging respect for the way he did his job. He saw the way Shaw selfishly withheld information during the mission, only doling out what had been necessary. He knows Bartowski would eventually have trouble with that and if he did, so would Walker. "I still haven't really made up my mind if I should shoot you."

Shaw sees the gun when Casey finally moves his arm. He knows it's only a threat but he can also tell that he's not going to win this argument. "I'll have to debrief him later then."

"I think Walker already beat you to that." Casey's smirk highlighting his double entendre.

* * *

He breaks off the kiss even though he does not want to let her go. "I'm not sure I can do this, Sarah." He looks at her and sees her pensive smile as he feels her hand caress his cheek.

He's such a good man and he's always had to make difficult choices. "You've already done it, Chuck. Now we just have to learn to live with the choice we made."

"_General, I accept your offer." He wants so badly to hold Sarah's hand but refrains because he understands that he has to do this first._

"_Very well, Mr. Bartowski or should I say, Agent Bartowski. I welcome you into our fold and wish you good luck with your training." He does not wait to see Beckman switch off connection as he pulls her into his embrace and kisses her. He knows he can do the job and with her, they can make a difference. The choice feels right and he wonders why her eyes seem so bright as she blinks rapidly, ducking her head as Casey comes forward to shake his hand._

**The End**

**So to make the review process more interactive, do you have any favourite quotes you would like to see used? Review and tell me! Next Quote is one of Bryce's**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N - The re-written sparring scene is for DLK and I'm fine with new characters being brought in as long as they feel organic and not forced. So this chapter is my take on how Chuck has to play Sarah's role and in reeling in an asset, namely Hannah!**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**You were never good at this; the saying your feelings part.**_

_**Bryce Larkin**_

She's always been a keen observer of human nature, using what she's learnt to live other people's lives if only for the duration of the assignment. A skill honed since young, initially used for personal benefit but finally put to a better use when she joined the CIA. Years of being someone else has not made her forget who she is and who she really wants to be. She just isn't sure it's who Chuck wants her to be.

"You need to concentrate on the bo, try and predict where you think it will strike next." She turns and thrusts the bo out, nearly catching him in the side before he clumsily steps aside, almost losing hold of his own weapon in the process.

"I still can't flash." He knows he has the information inside and wonders if his recent assignment has broken his Intersect link somehow. He still cannot remember pulling the trigger and for the past four nights, had woken Sarah up with his thrashing in bed. The same nightmare over and over again, only he wakes up just as he catches hold of the gun, crying and shaking with Sarah holding tightly on to him.

"I know." She ducks as he swings wildly; she moves a step back and then forward, bringing her bo to within an inch of his neck. "This is still part of your training. The Intersect is only a part of you." She circles around him, noting that his eyes though wary, are at least following her bo.

Her next move is fast, as she bends and sweeps his legs before hitting him in the back, causing him to fall over. "Sorry." She extends her hand to help him up and does not expect him to grab hold, pulling her forward such that she tumbles onto him, his hands encircling her waist.

"My ploy worked." He kisses the end of her nose. He sees her smile but when he looks into her eyes, all he can see fear and worry there. He knows he needs to ask her why she's worried and what exactly she is afraid of but he is too frightened that he would not like her answers. So he kisses her on the mouth and she closes her eyes.

"Agent Walker, may I have a word?" Shaw stands at the doorway, arms crossed as he takes in their compromising position, noting that Chuck blushes but Sarah doesn't as she stands up and helps Chuck to his feet. "Save you later?" The message and smile she gives Chuck is dazzling and Shaw cannot help but feel as if he's intruded.

"How's his training?"

She's walking next to him but does not turn her head towards him as she answers. "He's getting used to the basics." She has to stop herself from saying more because she still does not know Shaw's motivation.

"We have another mission that would seem to require someone like Chuck." Her reaction is somewhat predictable as she stops and turns to face him.

"He hasn't flashed in any of our training sessions, even with Casey." Sarah modulates her voice so that none of her emotions come through. Her hands are idle by her side and her expression neutral.

"We don't need the Intersect. Briefing is in fifteen minutes. "He turns to walk away and it's then that she reacts, her face showing both fear and surprise. She does not expect him to turn around almost immediately. "Don't worry Sarah, this is an easy one."

She does not like the fact that he's using their first names to engender a sense of familiarity or the fact that he can see through her façade when it comes to Chuck.

* * *

"Her name is Hannah and although she doesn't know it, she's working for the Ring and in possession of this." Shaw changes the picture from the petite Brunette to a picture of the Ring's newest communications device. "It's a phone, closed network and something we've been trying to get our hands on."

"So why not just steal the phone?" Casey figures he could get it done in time for dinner.

"We need to see how she activates it and we need to know what they want her to do for them. She has a 146 IQ but dropped out of MIT senior year because her dad left and she went home to look after her younger sister. She's currently freelancing as an IT troubleshooter and programmer." Shaw looks at Chuck as he projects Hannah's picture onto the screen once again.

"So Chuck, are you ready to try out your seduction school training?" He looks at Sarah and not at Chuck when he says this, and is again unsurprised when he sees her duck her head before looking up.

"Uh, I, um, didn't. I haven't. .."He takes a deep breath and looks to Casey and Sarah; only continuing when he sees Sarah give him an encouraging smile. "You just need me to find out what she knows right; I just need to talk to her?"

"That's right Chuck. CIA compatibility assessments show that she's just your type. She's currently stranded at LAX and should be booked on another flight tomorrow. You have all of tonight to get the information and the phone. Sarah will provide backup onsite and Casey and I will be at Castle keeping track."

* * *

"Relax Chuck." He hears Sarah's voice and is comforted by it. "Just be yourself."

"Cause that tends to get all the ladies." He's just muttering under his breath but she catches it anyway.

"Hopefully only the one that matters." Her voice is as soft as his when she answers. Sarah knows that it's an open channel and that Shaw is also listening in and stops herself from saying anything else. "Do you see her?" It's as new as an experience for her as it s for Chuck to be doing this and she does not want to think of the extent he may need to go in order to get the information required.

"Yeah, she's over by the bar." He sees Hannah's profile and realizes that four years ago, she would have been the exact person he would have looked for when asked about his type. Only he's realized that it's not about type or compatibility tests but recognizing something in the other person that resonates within him beyond just looks and common interests. Something that doesn't always need to be articulated but eventually has to be acknowledged. "Save you later." He knows she'll understand his message as he adjusts his tie and walks towards the bar.

Sarah listens in on their conversation, giving him small insights when he gets a bit tongue tied but ultimately, he's Chuck and because of his innate likeability, he has Hannah beguiled and deep in conversation inside of two hours.

It's only when she starts to notice the signs that she begins to feel uncomfortable. Sarah can hear the pitch of Hannah's voice as she compliments Chuck, knowing that her hand is on his arm even though she can't see it. She hears his next question 'So describe your perfect guy' and almost answers before realizing that Chuck is not talking to her.

But Hannah answers anyway and Sarah closes her eyes as she listens to her description. "Tall, funny, smart, kind...kind eyes umm, nice smile…curly hair." Her voice tapers off as she leans in close. Sarah can swear she can hear the kiss even though Chuck's nervous laughter comes through almost instantaneously, that she can guess he ducked his head.

Sarah can see the divergence of her duty from her life and knows it is a battle she cannot win currently as she talks into his earpiece. "Chuck, you need to get her to trust you. Don't make her feel embarrassed; she likes you and will tell you what we're after. You need to re-establish that connection. You need….to follow through on the kiss." She hears him clearing his throat as he asks for another drink and offers one to Hannah, apologizing at the same time.

"Sorry, it's been some time for me since I had a real date or even a fake one." She listens to his voice and can tell he's still nervous but at least he answers Hannah's question on fake dates.

"No, not fake but just going out with someone with whom you have a connection with and really talking to them about everything, being honest with your emotions you know. Just knowing you don't have to hide or pretend to be strong that just being there together and sharing that experience, no lies, no covers, just us."

"Wow." She hears Hannah exhale and can picture Chuck looking at her as he answers, "Yeah." Their responses are both echoing her own but it's not something she can express out loud, restricted by her job and duty.

"Ask her up to her room." She says the words but does not mean them, although Chuck can't tell because she's Agent Walker directing her partner on his mission and not Sarah asking Chuck to do the impossible.

She hears Chuck clear his throat and mutter a no under his breath. "Did you say something?" Hannah's voice is low, like she's leaned into him.

"I was saying I still don't know how I got so lucky and met someone like you in here. Who do I have to thank for getting you to this exact bar at this exact time?" He smiles even though he does not feel like it, but he needs to get the information and he knows he needs to do it without hurting Sarah.

"My flight was cancelled and a number of planes have been grounded back east so I can only get a flight out tomorrow. The company I'm working for, they're big on encryption and I just finished reverse engineering part of this program for them, it's some new way of storing information via visual images. Anyway, they only contact me through their own phones as well." She takes out the Ring phone and places it on the bar counter. "Only I can't activate it. So I'm stuck until the morning or until they call." Hannah finally makes her move, as she places her hand on top of his.

"Listen, Chuck, I don't normally do this." She sees his eyes widen and she stops still unsure if she's read his signals wrong.

"Go up to her room, Chuck. Don't worry, I have one of Casey's tranq guns. We have enough information, we just need time to clone the phone and she won't remember a thing." Sarah turns to exit the van only to hear Shaw's voice come online.

"Hold off Agent Walker, Chuck, you've read Hannah's file. Would she be able to write code for the Intersect? Cough once if you think it's a yes."

"Wait, Hannah…" Chuck coughs and takes a drink but he does not break his eye contact with her.

It's the closest Shaw's ever come to the Ring since Eve infiltrated them five years ago. "She's our link to the Ring. We need to turn her. Make her an asset. Chuck, go up to her room. Sarah, same plan but we need to bring her in."

Chuck takes her hand. "I wanted to tell you that I don't do this either and the last time I had a date, I think Bush was still president." He smiles, showing his teeth. He tells himself that maybe Hannah would be safer on their side and that he's not about to ruin her life.

"Would you like to go up to my room?" Hannah matches his smile when she sees him nod. Her mom had always told her that if she ever met a nice guy, she should just take a chance and tell him what she's feeling.

**The End**

**As highlighted before, reviews really do make me write faster. Just ask DLK :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – Thanks to DLK for the beta and to all those who reviewed. It's nice to know you're enjoying tthis series or at least reading it! Hope you like this installment.**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**"I hope your lies keep you warm at night." **_

_**Hannah**_

Hannah looks around the room and cannot remember how she got here much less where she is. She wants to shout and cry and hit the walls when it all comes flooding back and she calls out the one name she remembers.

"Chuck!"

He hears her and looks at Sarah, his eyes wide and panicked as he recalls what it was like to realize that his life had changed forever. He knows exactly what Hannah's next hour would be like and how in that hour, she would come to realize that her life would no longer be her own and it could all be traced back to one person. In his case, he had blamed Bryce and he knows without a doubt, Hannah will blame him.

"Bartowski, you need to convince her to work for us." Shaw's holding Hannah's phone in his hand. He finally feels something stir within him, a feeling that he had long thought gone forever. He thinks its hope but he's still not sure. He needs them to play their part and he really does not care how that will be accomplished.

"What if she says no?" He still thinks that Hannah having a choice in the matter is still a valid possibility. Perhaps all they need to do is to protect Hannah for a bit longer and then she'll be able to go home, resume her life as if nothing untoward had occurred.

"That's not an option. She works for us now. Get her to answer this as they should call soon." Shaw throws the phone to Chuck who looks at it, as if afraid. "She's your asset now Chuck. Do what Sarah does for you. Do whatever it takes." He leaves it vague and uses the present tense, ignoring Casey's dismissive grunt or Sarah's stare, knowing that she will support Chuck in this regardless of how she feels about his role. He smiles as he hears her low tones to Chuck when he turns around.

"Don't worry Chuck, All Hannah needs is a friend right now. Someone she thinks she can trust." She sees the realization in his eyes and knows he's thinking about her words on the beach. He's still Chuck to her and for a small moment, she sees his eyes soften, only all it takes is a blink before he pulls himself back.

"So I have to continue to lie to her?" He looks at Sarah and wonders when it stopped being a lie. He knows she loves him and he loves her. He's positive that what they have is real but he's also afraid that she fell for Chuck Bartowski and right now, he's pretty sure that Chuck does not exist anymore. He remembers what it was like though and hopes that he can be that for her even if it's no longer true.

"Tell her what she needs to know but more importantly tell her what she wants to hear." She looks directly at him as she says this, not wanting to hide from the fact that she had started out with a different agenda with him. Lying to him had come easily to her in the beginning only it evolved into lying to herself. Sarah knows he needs to do this but she's also afraid that like everything else, he'll lose a bit of himself in order to do it.

"She will not want to trust you but you need to show her that you really do have her best interest at heart." She wants him to acknowledge her words because they are the truth. But she can see him fading, the man she met and protected slowly disappearing before her eyes as nods at her words, his expression slowly hardening into determination.

Chuck does not know what he wants to say but opens the door anyway and enters the holding cell. He sees recognition on Hannah's face but her expression morphs into apprehension and then anger. "Who the hell are you and where am I?" Her words could have been more powerful had her voice not broken near the end, showing her fear.

"I'm still Chuck but I'm not a software engineer and I don't work for Linksys. I work for the government and we need your help." His voice is so sincere and the crease in his brow shows how hard it is for him to admit to lying to her.

"So the government thinks it's okay to lie to me and then drug and abduct me?" Her voice is still laced with fear and Chuck hates the fact that when she looks at him, her eyes widen as if afraid and her hands are clenched in her lap. "What kind of man are you?" The question is not rhetorical and even if it was, Chuck's not really sure he can answer it.

"That is a man on his way to reeling in his first asset." Casey's surprised voice cuts through Sarah's defenses, as she looks down, not wanting to acknowledge to him that she does not want Chuck to succeed here.

"Hannah. I know you hate me right now and you should. But not for the reason you think." At last, she stares at Chuck, not with hate or fear but with a questioning look. "I'm not the one who made you work for a criminal organization who would think nothing of killing you once you've finished your work for them. I'm just the guy who had to lie to you to get you here s that we could try and save your life. So hate me for that." He looks directly at his, eyes unblinking as he sees he takes his words in.

"You're working for an organization known as the Ring. They're amoral and deal in government secrets, selling, trading, doing everything and anything to undermine our government. We need your help to stop them. You're our only hope." It's like he's channeling Bryce crossed with Morgan but at least she's stopped looking at him as if he was the enemy.

"He's good. Five bucks on the fact that he'll convince her to answer the phone when they call." Casey turns to look at Sarah who doesn't say anything. He can see she's having trouble with this but cannot understand why considering that lying was the least of a spy's sin.

Shaw stands at the door and hears Casey's bet but does not take it, instead focusing on Sarah. He's sure she's struggling with this but he has yet to see her show it overtly. He needs to know that no matter what, she'll finish her job and for that, he needs to push her buttons as much as he was going to push Chuck's. "Agent Walker, I'm surprised you don't believe in Agent Bartowski's skills."

She's so focused on Chuck that she needs a few more seconds to decipher Shaw's words but when she does, she cannot help but react. "You don't know what I believe in." Her eyes are bright blue as she turns to him and he's amazed by her passion.

"No, I don't but I am asking if you believe in Chuck." He wants to make this personal because he knows it's a weakness and one which can get them all killed and he cannot afford to let something like that happen again.

She loves Chuck so very much and she believes that he's an honorable and good man. But he's also a spy now and to be a good one, he'll have to not be Chuck. Shaw's waiting for her answer and she's tempted to tell him the truth, to explain her doubts about losing the one thing that ever meant anything in her life but she knows she cannot so her eyes dart to the side and then up, as if she's thinking. "He'll be able to get her to answer the phone and she'll even agree to go to the meeting but beyond that, we'll have to ensure her family is taken care of before she agrees to do much of anything else." She sees Shaw nod at her words and she can feel the weight of them on her, knowing that she's allowing Chuck to lose himself.

Chuck feels the phone vibrate before he hears it ring and it startles him but at least he does not drop it. "Hannah, you have to answer it, pretend that all is fine and you're waiting to go to the airport. Please, we need to stop them and I'm so sorry you got dragged into this but I need your help and I promise I will protect you." He holds out the phone, hoping that his words have gotten through.

Hannah can't tell if he's lying because he sounds so sincere and exactly like the guy she met yesterday. She takes the pone because it's her only link to her life and she does not know if she'll get another chance. "Hello... yes, I'm still in LA. No, um, I'm not at the hotel." She looks at Chuck as she says this and she sees him go pale as he looks at the mirrored glass. The door opens and a beautiful blond woman enters and puts a paper n front of her. On it are the words, 'You met a guy called Chuck at the bar and you're in his apartment in LA.'

"I'm at Chuck' apartment. He's um... he's a friend." Hannah knows that she does not have many choices to make currently but she's also not about to admit to a one night stand to her employer even if they were part of an evil organization. "Where? Yes, I think I can get there. Chuck? You want me to bring Chuck?" She sees him look at the blonde as if they're having some kind of silent conversation and only then does he turn to nod to her, a tentative but encouraging smile on his face. "Okay, I'll bring the program as well. Bye."

* * *

"I should be with her."Chuck can see Shaw and Hannah sitting outdoors at the café; the only two there as it's a chilly day. "I promised her." He turns to Sarah. "She's my asset." He hears Casey grunt in the front seat and does not take the bait.

"You haven't flashed in a while and we thought it would be best for you to observe first."Shaw had wanted Chuck to follow through and she had used up her last favor with Casey to get him to outvote Shaw in that respect. It's the only way she can protect Chuck right now and she doesn't care what Shaw thinks of her. She sees a van pull up and two men alight.

"Shaw, two men at your six o'clock. They're armed. I'm sending in Casey." Chuck looks at the monitor and finally feels the familiar sensation of a flash. But its not the faces of the men that trigger it but rather the model of the van and the antenna sticking out the back.

"Oh, god, Sarah, it's a bomb." He rushes out the door shouting into his watch, hoping that Shaw can hear. He feels the impact from behind and it disorients him until he realizes it wasn't the bomb but Casey tackling him to the ground. He looks up to see Sarah run past him and towards the restaurant, her gun out and shooting although he does not know at whom.

"Get down."Casey's voice is loud and Chuck's unsure if he's shouting at him or at Sarah and then it's too late as he sees the flash and hears the explosion a split second later, debris and dust flying around them.

Chuck scrambles up and runs in the same direction as Sarah. He sees Shaw walking towards him, carrying someone in his arms and he hopes it's Sarah only to see that her hair is brown. It's then that he spots her sprawled on the sidewalk, blood on her face and head, her eyes closed and he freezes.

**The End**

Next Chapter uses Sarah's quote. The one about Chuck losing himself (Thanks jagged1). Thanks for reading, please review by pressing the button (pretty please)


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – It was episode 4 of Season 1 that sold me on Charah especially when Chuck asked for Sarah's real name and she finally whispered her middle name. And then in Season 3, she goes and tells it to Shaw which boggles my mind. So in my universe, it happens differently. Enjoy! Thanks to DLK for the beta**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**It is like I am watching Chuck disappear, and the further he gets from who he is, the more I want to remember who I am.**_

_**Sarah Walker**_

"Chuck….Chuck, buddy, are you listening?" Morgan waves his hand in front of Chuck's face, hoping for a reaction. He knows he should have gotten used to this by now but he keeps thinking things will return to normal and one day, he'll have his best friend back.

"Uh, sorry Morgan, I, um, I was…so what can I do for you?" Chuck doesn't want to be here, he wants to be holding Sarah's hand and helping Casey go through the debris they picked up from the blast site, for clues. He would even accept helping Shaw interview Hannah despite knowing that she specifically asked to not ever see him again. However, he still has a cover to protect and Shaw had threatened to bench him despite his flash because he had disobeyed every direct order at the scene. He was here only because Shaw had banned him from Castle for the next twelve hours.

Chuck had not wanted to leave Sarah even though she had been awake by then and had told him it was ok. She kissed him, ignoring both protocol and obligation and only when she whispered in his ear, did he finally relent. _"You need to go spend time in your world."_ It was the plea in her voice that scared him because he thought that he was in his world only finally realizing he does not belong in either, at least not yet.

"I was just asking how you've been or honestly, where have you been? I mean I don't want to ride you and all and I'm not pulling rank here but you've disappeared on me, man. You're never here and I've seen you less since you moved in with Sarah. Is everything ok there?" Morgan's voice takes on a hopeful tone because it's the one explanation that he'll totally accept.

Chuck nods slowly, knowing that he's not lying completely and that he has been spending his work and personal time with Sarah. "Yeah, sorry buddy, but you know, I'm here now and we can grab a couple of subs and um…uh..."He had wanted to suggest a Call of Duty marathon only he does not want to witness the graphic realism from the game, knowing that he had killed someone in real life despite still not remembering pulling the trigger.

"Chuck?" He looks the same even with the new haircut and he sounds just like Chuck but Morgan knows that he's not and if he were being really honest, it had started when he and Sarah got together almost three years ago. "Listen, you and Sarah have been going on and off again for nearly three years and I understand that now you're back on, you want to spend more time with her. I just miss you, you know."

"Duck hunt, we'll play some old school duck hunt. How's that?" He smiles widely at Morgan, hoping that he'll be able to get through today and finally realizing that the Morgan and the Buy More have become more foreign to him than Castle and Casey.

"Alright, that's the Chuckster I recognize and love…um in a manly way um... I mean, come here." Morgan grabs his shoulder and pulls him down to rub his knuckles across his head. He always knew that Chuck was meant for better things and it was only a matter of time before he'll be left behind.

* * *

Her head is pounding but at least the cuts stopped bleeding some time ago. She knows she should go back to the hotel and wait for him but she wants to see him, to convince herself that he's still her Chuck. She almost reaches out to touch the monitor when she sees him smile at Morgan recognizing something so familiar gives her hope but then she sees his eyes and realizes that even through the grainy monitor screen, she can tell he's not connecting with Morgan, at least not the way he used to.

"Agent Walker?" Shaw's tone already an indication that he's going to order her to do something she does not want and therefore she does not turn around. "Okay." He had guessed that she would not make it easy for him especially when he had nearly physically thrown Chuck out of Castle for his insubordination at the restaurant. "General Beckman had informed me that your relationship with Agent Bartowski would not affect you job performance in any way."

She continues to look at the screen, trying to figure out if Chuck had already noticed that Lester was trying to download porn over their T1 line. She had had this talk with Beckman already and her position had been made extremely clear.

"_No ma'am, I am not insisting on anything. I am just stating that Agent Bartowski and I will be staying at the hotel going forward and since he is no longer an asset, all surveillance equipment can be removed." It's not exactly a don't ask, don't tell policy but she knows that she's pushing the envelope here. "Ma'am, we've always done our jobs and will continue to do so to the best of our ability." She sees Beckman looking directly at her and she does not blink, even when she finally sees her nod in assent._

"And it hasn't Agent Shaw." She does not turn to talk to him and can finally hear the frustration in his voice seeping through.

"You sent Casey to stop him at the restaurant even when I specifically asked you and Colonel Casey to stand down." He had heard her frantic plea to Casey to stop Chuck as she rushed out of the vehicle to save Hannah in Chuck's stead.

"I made a decision that took into account the fact that despite Chuck and you wanting him to be a full fledged spy, he's still the Intersect and has to be protected at all cost." He's always been more than that to her but she knows that line of reasoning will not allow her to win this argument.

"You just don't see it do you?" He shakes his head as she finally turns to look at him. "The more you protect him from any of this, the less he'll be able to face what's to come." He sees her eyes widen as she takes in his words and Shaw knows he's already said too much. However, it's a gamble that he knows will pay off. He needs all of them to be at their best when they finally go after the Ring and to do that, he needs Walker to do her job and allow Chuck to do his.

"He's a spy now, Agent Walker. The sooner you realize that, the better it'll be. Now that we've got that cleared up, I need you to wait with Hannah until our agents come to take her to the safe house." He recognizes the look on her face, a mixture of cold realization and heartbreaking fear. He wants to say more, to commiserate and tell her about Eve. He wants to let her know that she needs to do this in order to ensure that Chuck will be prepared to face anything. He had thought Eve had been but in the end, she had kept her wedding ring with her. The ring he had given her to prove his love had also identified her as a double agent.

Sarah still does not trust him and his words have not brought any comfort or clarity. Instead, they have made her more scared than ever before. However, his faraway look and honest answer have thrown her. "He is Agent Bartowski but you need to understand that it's always been Chuck that has done the right thing."

He turns at her words and wonders if he was ever that naïve but realizes it's not naiveté but love and if she's not careful, it'll get her or Chuck killed. "Then, Agent Walker, you just have to decide if you want Agent Bartow ski alive or Chuck dead." He sees her recoil at his words but at least he seems to have gotten through at last.

* * *

He swipes the card through the lock and slowly opens the door. It's past midnight and he does not want to wake Sarah if she's already asleep. He just wants to hold her because he realizes that she's his one constant now. Spending the day with Morgan had been a good break but it had finally showed him that the Buy More and his old life was gone and even if Morgan was still the same best friend he had since grade school, he was the one who had changed irrevocably.

She looks up from her place by the window and smiles tentatively, glad to see him home. She does not wait for him to reach her. Instead, she rushes into his arms and holds him, comforted by his presence. "I've missed you." She feels him kiss her crown and tilts her head up to meet his lips.

His hand touches the cut on the side of her face and she knows what's he's thinking. "It looks worse than it feels and you know I've had worse." She does not like to see his face fall at her words but she needs to get this out. Sarah cups his face with her hands as she gazes into his eyes. "We chose to stay and do this together."

Chuck knows that she's reiterating his words but overlaid on them are the flashes he's had of Sarah and all the memories of the past few weeks, of killing and death and lying and he just wants to forget. However, he knows he can't because despite her words, he was the one who made the choice for them the second he placed his palm on the screen and downloaded the Intersect.

He loves her and would go to any lengths to keep her safe, only now, he's finally grasped the fact that she'll always put her life on the line for him. And in order to prevent that, he knows now that he has to embrace being a spy even if it means giving up his old life completely. He needs to move on for her sake more than anything else.

"I thought I could forget the missions and the death but I can't, can I? It's part of me now and I know I have to change." He sees her shake her head but he continues, "I know I have to be a spy and that means dealing with death and lying." His voice not wavering as he holds his hands in fists by his side.

She sees his expression harden and his eyes lose their spark. The contours of his face still so familiar but his expression molded by his recent experiences and signifying that she's losing her Chuck. "Yes, but it doesn't always have to be." Her voice is soft as she valiantly tries to remember the person she had been before she became Sarah Walker.

She takes his hand and guides him towards the bed. "I love you, Chuck Bartowski, and I'm always going to be here to remind you who you are and you're going to have to remind me as well because I need to remember who I was before all of this. " Sarah sees the questioning look on his face.

"I need to tell you one true thing about me because I know who you are. I know." She stresses the words, hoping he'll understand that despite all the changes and things he'll have to encounter and endure, he'll always be Chuck to her. "I'm Sam, my real name is Sam."

Sarah looks at him and recognizes the man she had fallen for, all his defenses, at last, fallen away. She had wanted to hear him say her name for so long, such that when he does, she finally feels free.

"Sam." Chuck breathes her name out and smiles, accepting her gift, knowing its significance. "I love you Sam."

**The End**

**Reviews feeds this hungry author! Next quote is Chuck's (thanks to Bookmark 1414)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N - So I am back to shadowing S3 and have always enjoyed TB interaction and think that if they had written Shaw differently i.e. with no romantic interest in Sarah, his character would be so much more interesting. Thanks to DLK for betaing.**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**Go with your heart buddy, our brains only screw things up**_

_**Chuck Bartowski**_

Sarah feels his breath hot against her skin, her hands pull him closer as she feels the muscles in his back tense. She waits for his kiss and is not disappointed as his lips finally captures hers. Her lips slowly parting as her eyes close and she savors his touch. His hands skimming her skin, tracing a pattern only he can discern.

Chuck lifts her up and her legs automatically curl around him, both of them still locked in a tight embrace. "Infirmary, now." He can hear the low urgency in her voice as she breaks off the kiss to whisper in his ear before her teeth lightly grazes his earlobe.

She feels his strong arms encircle her and she's never felt more safe or loved. All her senses completely attuned to him such that even their breaths are synchronized. Her hand goes to the back of his neck, her fingers curling through his hair and she hears his voice but does not expect the words.

"Wait, Sarah…someone's coming." He's always been amazed by her reflexes and even now, he sees her switch from the semi throes of passion to instant alertness as she pulls him behind her, her hand on her holster as she listens to the noise coming from the main staircase in Castle.

"Chuck, Sarah, we have a situation" Shaw's voice carries to the back and he hopes that his noisy entrance have given them enough time to compose themselves. He does not like what he has to tell them and realizes that they would hate him more for not only interrupting them but for his subsequent message as well.

"Agent Shaw, um, we were, well um..." Chuck runs his hand through his hair, trying to tamp down on his errant curls as his other hand still holds Sarah's hand.

"What's the situation?" Sarah's voice is flat and hard as she stares at Shaw, her hand gently squeezing Chuck's as she gives him a shrug and a small smile when she turns to look at him.

"Colonel Casey seems to have gone rogue. At 0600 hours, he broke into our secure facility in LA and stole something. Our job is to apprehend Casey by any means necessary." Shaw notes the looks of disbelief on their faces. He's read enough about them to know that his words or Beckman's orders would not be sufficient and he switches on the monitors. "Here's the security footage from this morning."

"That's not Casey, he loves his country." Chuck's voice takes on a defensive tone even as Sarah's eyes widen as she recognizes Casey breaking into the vault. "It can't b…" Chuck's voice finally trailing off as the camera catches Casey's face as he sneers and finally shoots at it, ending the recording.

"What did he take?" Sarah knows enough not to argue with the facts, instead, she wants information in order to judge for herself what needs to be done.

"Something we've been working on to help Chuck." Shaw looks at Sarah, "It's a pill that suppresses fear completely." He sees the understanding dawn in her eyes.

"That's cool." Chuck's voice overlaps with Sarah's cautious tone. "What else does it suppress?" Shaw crosses his arms as he turns back to the screen.

"We won't know unless we get the pills back. Before Casey stole them, this man killed the two scientists working on the formula." He puts up the picture of Colonel Keller. "We think he's recruited Casey for the Ring. Right now we have a thirty minute window. Casey was implanted with a radioisotope tracer and I'm going to activate it now." Shaw enters the code into his handheld device and the screen switches to a map, a red blinking dot finally appearing. "Come on, we don't have much time."

Sarah's eyes flick to Chuck and with one look, she conveys what she's feeling, hoping he understands. He nods imperceptibly before grabbing the bag Shaw has given him.

"Remember, we need the pills and at this point, our orders are to achieve that by any means necessary."

* * *

She looks at Shaw as he directs her to the door, his fingers counting down before kicking it open. Sarah holds her gun before her as she enters directly after him knowing that Chuck is following behind. She sees Casey, his body half out the small window and hears the warning shot fired by Shaw.

"Colonel Casey, you are under arrest." Shaw notes Sarah and Chuck fan out around him, "Hands in the air." Shaw did not expect it to be this easy and smirks until he sees the identical expression on Casey's face. It's only when he hears Sarah's voice, does he realize he's underestimated them again.

"John, care to tell me what's going on?" Sarah's gun is trained on Shaw as Chuck moves to her side.

"It's nothing I can't handle, Walker. I just need a few hours." He had not expected them to find him this quickly and he knows that he's still on the clock, Alex's life depending on him. A daughter he has never seen or acknowledged but whose life is currently dependant on him betraying his country. He's used his head and knows that he has one chance to kill Keller but to do that, he needs to get close and that meant stealing the pills.

"See Casey, that's where you still don't get it. We're a team and that means no matter what, we're here to help you." Chuck sees Casey's jaw clench at his words but he does not let up. "You would never betray your country no matter what the tapes have shown. So what's going on?"

Shaw takes a step forward only to have Sarah raise her gun, "Don't." Sarah puts her finger on the trigger showing how serious she actually is.

"Walker..." Casey does not want her to commit treason. "Keller recruited me for Special Ops twenty years ago and now he works for the Ring. Yesterday, he contacted me and told me that I had….I have a daughter. Her name is Alex…Alexandra Coburn."

Chuck flashes on the name, all the information finally giving him a picture of the man before him and the sacrifices he had made for the love of his country. "Casey, you gave it all up?" His voice a mixture of pity and awe.

"I asked to serve my country and accepted the offer when it came." He does not regret it, at least not when he's sober.

"Will she be there when you make the drop?" She can understand why Casey had not involved them but it also meant that he had been prepared to go on a suicide mission to protect his daughter as well as Chuck and herself. Sarah sees him nod before turning to Shaw. "We have a chance to capture a Ring agent, I assume that should take precedence over bringing in Colonel Casey?"

"She has a point." Chuck stands in front of Shaw, blocking his shot of Casey. "Come on, Agent Shaw, we're the good guys here." He sees Shaw's gun pointing at his heart but does not waver and breathes a sigh of relief when Shaw finally holsters his gun.

"Fine, but on one condition." Chuck nods, willing to agree to anything. "You need to take one of the pills."

Shaw sees Sarah step forward, her hand reaching for Chuck but he speaks before she can. "That's it? Sure, okay." Chuck turns to see Sarah's stricken look and her outstretched hand and he takes her hand in his, pulling her close to whisper in her ear. "You'll always be there to remind me, remember?"

Sarah looks into his eyes and understands that she needs to trust in her love for him and she nods before kissing him.

* * *

"There are thirteen guards, ten around the compound and three guarding Alex here. Keller's in the room in the back." Shaw points at the satellite pictures he had downloaded. "How do you want to do this?" He looks at Casey, allowing the Colonel to do what he does best.

"Think you and Walker can take the outside guards out quietly?" Casey knows Walker can hold her own but he's yet to see what Shaw can do. He turns to look at Chuck and sees him staring down at him palm, the pill in his hand. "Bartowski, you going to take that pill or stare it into oblivion?"

Chuck looks up and gazes at Sarah. He can see that she does not want him to take the pill but understands that they need the Intersect working perfectly in order to save Casey's daughter. She smiles at him and nods and that's really all he needs as he tosses the pill into his mouth and dry swallows. "I guess it would have been too much to ask for it to be raspberry flavored." He hears Casey's grunt in reply and smiles. "Let's go get some bad guys."

Sarah palms her knives and tosses two of them taking out two men, even before Shaw can take out his first guard. He glances at her, "You want to race, do you?" and she does not even reply as she smiles and palms another knife before running round the corner of the house.

Chuck looks on as Casey enters the house, he's feeling deceptively calm even after seeing Sarah and Shaw go after the ten men outside the building. He sees Casey signal to him and quickly follows him in. "She's in the room at the back." Casey takes a step before turning back, "Chuck, are you sure you can do this?"

Chuck knows Casey's not questioning his skill but rather asking if he's okay with taking out three guys by himself. "Yeah, go get Keller." Chuck takes a deep breath and walks towards the room in the back. He hears the low murmur of voices and the second he spots the first man, he flashes and takes him out. The second one rushes at him and Chuck hits him with a roundhouse kick, knocking him out. The third one grabs Alex and holds her in front of him, one hand around her throat, the other with a gun to her temple.

"No, don't." Chuck puts his hand out, showing he has no weapons, calculating in his head the moves he needs to make to take him out. The man pulls Alex closer to him when he sees Casey and Sarah rush into the room, their own weapons drawn.

"Let her go." Casey spits out each word before warning Chuck. "Bartowski, don't." This time, he cannot take the chance.

"It's fine, Casey, I have this. Besides, it's not like she means anything to you. Yesterday you didn't even know she existed." Chuck sees Alex' eyes go wide as he takes a step towards her.

"Chuck, no." Sarah knows she needs get through to him. "Chuck, please." Her voice is thick with emotion as Casey looks on, his face a mask of anguish and anger.

Chuck does not look at her but stares at the man in front of him, taking another step closer before finally answering Sarah. "It's okay, Sam, I have this." He knows she will finally get the message and realize her presence is really all he needs to know who he is.

Chuck's next move is fast as he wrenches the gun out of the man's hand with his left hand while pulling Alex to safety with his right. He holds her close as he hears two shots go off.

"Just close your eyes." His voice is gentle as he leads her out of the room. He can feel her shaking and he hugs her as she starts to cry. He sees Casey exit the room but before he can say anything, he walks away.

* * *

"She's your daughter and you need to tell her." Chuck wants to shake Casey by the shoulders but he knows he'll just get punched in the face if he tried. He looks to Sarah, hoping that Casey will listen to her.

"It was a horrible experience but she's brave. Right now, I think she just wants to know the truth." Sarah cannot imagine how hard it must be for Casey and does not want to push any more than she needs to.

"She's better off not knowing. She needs to go back to her life and forget this." Casey walks towards the door, intending to leave only to be stopped by Chuck's voice.

"This is not the time to use your head, Casey." Chuck watches Casey walk towards the door and instead of turning left, he turns right, towards the room with Alex.

**The End**

**Next Up is a Bryce quote (bohoxlove) and we deal with Eve but my way. Please review if you have the inclination :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N – Thanks to DLK for the beta but for also summarizing this chapter as lies and their consequenses. There is no denying that Sarah loves Chuck but will her decisions always be the one that he'll accept…**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**"I know you hate me now, but some day you're going to realize that I've been looking out for you. I have been all along"**_

_**Bryce Larkin**_

"Eve" The word is spoken in a whisper as Shaw stares at the screen. The grainy footage playing in a loop had been taken by Chuck on his solo assignment yesterday. The lighting is too low and the resolution sucks but he can recognize her anywhere, the curve of her neck and the mole at the side of her mouth. He feels lightheaded such that he has to lower his head and take a few deep breaths before he can once again stare at the screen showing his wife alive and apparently working for the Ring.

For the past five years, Shaw's entire focus had been to take down the organization that killed his wife. Going after each and every operative he uncovered, not only because they were betraying the country he swore to protect but because they were all complicit in her death.

"What's going on? " He looks up to see Sarah coming down the stairs, a frown on her face as she looks at the screens showing Eve's profile. "Who is she?" Shaw's call to her had been brief but it was his specific instructions to come alone that piqued her interest.

"Chuck's mission yesterday was to surveil a Ring Operative that has been sent to find and kill me." He takes out his wallet and removes a picture and stares at it before handing it to her. "That's Evelyn Shaw. She was deep cover within the Ring when they found out she was a double agent and killed her." He wants her to tell him that they are two different people, that the resemblance he sees is a figment of his imagination and that his wife is dead.

The picture is a candid one of Shaw hugging a petite brunette with a mole on the side of her mouth. There are a number of explanations she can give him for the resemblance but she knows he won't accept any of them until he finds out the truth for himself.

"She's also Chuck's Red Test." Shaw knows that Sarah hates him for what he's made Chuck do but in this instance, their wants have converged and he knows she wants the same thing he does.

"He has a confirmed kill in Paris." He voice takes on the hard edge he's expecting and she crosses her arms when she turns to face him.

"It was out of self defense and not an ordered hit." Shaw raises his hand to stop her response, "I can have the order rescinded." He had promised to love her forever and even when she died, he kept his ring on him to remind him of his promise. Sarah was the only one who would understand his predicament and she would be the one who would do anything to protect Chuck, even commit treason.

"What do you want me to do?" Chuck was still having nightmares about the kill in Paris, waking up most nights gasping for breath and only calming down when she would take him into her arms. He would never be able to carry out an ordered hit and she would do everything in her power to ensure he was never put in that position.

He's spent most of his life protecting his country, knowing what he needed to give up and even when he first met Eve, he had held her at arm's length. But she had been persistent and the two years they had together were the best of his life. "I need to see her, talk to her…I was the one who identified her remains in Moscow." What he does not say is that he had spent the next month in a constant state of inebriation, staring at his gun and only came out of his stupor with the understanding that he would take as many of the Ring agents out before he did anything else.

He stares at Sarah as she processes his words as she finally sees the parallel between them. It does not detract from the fact that he is asking her to defy orders to help him and by extension, Chuck. "We will be going off book for this. If Beckman finds out…"

"No one will find out, especially not Chuck." Her lies of omission have always been to protect him and this is no different. She does not love him blindly but with a passion that dwarfs any of her past relationships and shapes all her choices.

* * *

"Okay, I know I'm not a full spy as yet but I don't need to have a baby sitter when Sarah goes on a mission." Chuck leans against the locker when he sees Casey put on his nametag.

"First, I'm more liable to shoot you than sing you a lullaby and second, there is no mission." Casey's actually glad for that because Beckman had put him on a two weeks suspension for not informing her of his sting operation. How Walker had spun that story and got Beckman to agree was still a miracle to him.

"Of course there is, Jeff told me he saw Smoking Sarah and some Superman looking dude get into a suburban carrying two black bags." He remembers kissing her good bye in the morning and wonders if it will always be like this, not knowing what mission she's on and worrying about it until he sees her again. "Is it dangerous?" He puts voice to his fears and knows Casey would at least be honest with him.

"For the last time, Walker and Shaw are not on a mission, unless you count serving Obama Guava dangerous." Casey didn't trust a lot of people but he trusted Walker enough to know that she considered him her partner and she did not trust Shaw. "Why don't you just go over and you can see for yourself that Jeff is not the most reliable witness especially after he's had his afternoon break."

* * *

"She's heading for the staircase." Sarah turns her head slightly as she speaks into her watch, her eyes following Eve as she sees Shaw slowly make his way over from the entrance to follow in her stead. Sarah lifts her drink and empties it, counting to a hundred in her head before tossing a few bills on the bar and heading towards the stairs.

She hears voices coming for a few floors up and she takes out her gun before making her way towards the sounds, the words becoming clearer with each step she takes.

"Who are you?" The pain in Shaw's voice is unmistakable, his low tone still conveying more emotion that she's ever heard from him. Sarah finally sees him, gun in hand, as he stares at the woman whom he thinks is his wife.

"I'm no one of consequence and you can shoot me but others will take my place." Her orders had been clear and failure was never an option until now. Daniel Shaw's question and responses are unnerving but his emotional reaction allows her to slowly palm one of her hidden knifes. She still has the chance to kill him and she does not want to waste it as she makes her move when he blinks and glances away.

Eve's movement is so familiar to Sarah that she reacts before she calls out, pushing Shaw to the floor just as Eve throws her knife, which embeds itself in her upper arm. Sarah sees Eve reach for her gun only to have Shaw's voice stop her. "I'm your husband."

Shock registers on Eve's face but it's fleeting as she pulls out her gun. Sarah knows her choices are limited and she takes the shot, aiming for Eve's hand even as she hears Shaw's plea to not shoot. She hits her target as Eve drops the gun and runs out the door on the landing. Sarah stands to give chase only to have Shaw hold her back.

"Let her go." There had been no flicker of recognition in her eyes but it had been Eve. She even smelled the same, a mixture of lavender soap and her own unmistakable scent. He had grabbed her jacket to stop her when he caught up to her in the stairwell, planting a small tracer at the same time. He turns to Sarah's frustrated expression. "I put a tracer on her that automatically activates in twenty four hours. We may get lucky and we need to dress that wound."

Shaw finally shakes himself out of his daze to note Sarah' bleeding upper arm and to realize that she had saved his life. "Thanks, for the save." He places his hands around her upper arm, stemming the blood flow.

"Was that her?" Her voice is surprisingly caring and he as to take a moment because he can feel the despair within dissipate slightly only to be replaced by fear for Eve and for himself because he's sure that he'd give up almost anything to get her back.

"Yeah…yeah, I…it was her." For the past five years, his entire life revolved around bringing down the Ring because it was the only way he could deal with his loss. He pushes those thoughts aside as he quickly strips off his t-shirt and uses part of it as a tourniquet. "We should get back to Castle as Chuck's shift should end soon." He's using Chuck as a distraction and is glad to see it work when Sarah's expressions shifts to guilt.

* * *

"Don't freak out." The words run like a mantra through his head as he stares at the Orange Orange entrance, hoping to see her saunter in. He knows enough not to call just in case she's really on a mission. He also does not want to go back to Casey to tell him that he was wrong and that Sarah and Shaw were probably on a mission that he was not privy to because of his recent insubordination.

It's at times like this where he sometimes wonders what Bryce would do and whether he ever got worried for Sarah's safety. It's then that he spots the Suburban pull up to park near the store and Shaw quickly exit the vehicle to help Sarah out. One hand protectively held around her shoulder as they walk into the store.

Chuck's relieved to see Sarah unhurt as he turns to walk back to the Buy More, knowing that she'll meet him back at the hotel and he'll need to pick up some sizzling shrimp because she always got hungry after missions.

* * *

Chuck sees her hunched over her laptop when he enters and proffers the carton to her. "Here, I thought you could use this." His smile is infectious and she answers in kind before taking the carton.

"Wow, you got me shrimp. So what are you trying to make up for?" Her wide smile dims when she sees the confusion on his face. "Thanks." Her voice softens as she reaches up to kiss him on the lips and his hand automatically curls around her bicep only to feel her jerk back out of his reach. "Sorry, I forgot, um, Shaw told me to tell you that you have an early morning briefing tomorrow."

Chuck nods at her words. He's always trusted her with his life ever since she talked to him on the beach and trusting her with his heart was a natural progression. "So what did you and Shaw do today?" He looks straight at her and feels his heart constrict when she smiles and answers him with a lie.

"I" she emphasizes the word "served yogurt and then we had paperwork to finish at Castle and Shaw left early. But not without ordering me to tell you of the meeting tomorrow as soon you came back." She loves him and reminds herself that it's her job to protect him always.

**The End**

_**So, just wanted to reiterate that I am an avowed Charah shipper ;) Anyway, tell me what you think and also where you think the story is going. Again if you have a favourite quote, send it along and I'll incorporate it into a future chapter. Otherwise hope you're still enjoying this series.**_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N - I never really got Shaw's obsession with Eve considering he 'fell' for Sarah so quickly. I think if they showed it better, it would havee made for such an interesting parallel.**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**Chuck you're gonna want to stay calm right now, I need you to trust me.**_

_**Sarah Walker **_

Casey looks through the scope and adjusts his sights as the target walks into the room. Brunette, relatively young, recently injured by the look of the bandage around her hand. However, the only fact that he cares about is the one where she's very much evil and working for the Ring. He had been surprised when Beckman had given him this assignment and more so when she told him that it was a solo mission. In the end though, it was the rescinded two weeks suspension and clean record that made him say yes.

He slows down his breathing and follows her through the scope as she takes off her jacket and picks up her phone as if to make a call, only she does not get a chance to connect as Casey squeezes the trigger. He takes a shorter amount of time to pack up than he did to set up and does not spare a glance back, always accepting that the choice had been made and his orders were the right one. He does not look back and thus he misses recognizing the man exiting the elevator and slowly making his way towards the room in question. A man whose mission and purpose had always been the singular focus of avenging his wife's death.

* * *

Sarah's always been able to read all her partners, even Casey. It's an innate skill that's allowed her to know when she should stop pushing or more importantly, when her decisions would have an adverse effect on the partnership. It's more complicated with Chuck though because she's always known, even when she was trying to deny her own feelings, that he loved her. What she was never sure of was if he fully trusted her even when she had to lie to him. She had promised herself early on that her lies would be sins of omission, sparing him the harsh reality of her job and taking it on herself to always protect him.

When he made the decision to become a spy, she belatedly realized how protecting him and hiding parts of herself from him, had pushed him into his decision. It was a catch 22 situation for her for which she still does not have a solution. Even now, she can see his love for her despite knowing that she's lying. It's the way his shoulders slump slightly and his eyes lose some of their spark as they avoid her gaze, not wanting to confront her because he figured that she was just not built that way.

Sarah sees Chuck turn away and her hand reaches out to grab his hand. She sees the surprise on his face and his eyes widen and focus on her arm, when she pulls off her t-shirt. "I went off the book today. I…had...have a good reason for it but..."

Chuck can see her struggling with her words but also the fact that she's actually sharing something with him. "It's okay, I just wanted to know that you're okay and that I'm here for you always." He's seen her tear up but never cry, not even at Bryce's funeral. Yet it's different here as her tears flow freely and he pulls her into his embrace.

"Are you in trouble?" He whispers in her ear and is relieved to feel her shake her head as she holds him more tightly. "Are you in danger?" He chuckles when she does, realizing that they're in a constant state of danger by virtue of their jobs."Okay, stupid question. Do you need my help?" He wants her to nod her head as he looks down at her but can feel her stiffen in his arms.

'_Can you do me one favor?" She's looking at him when she asks although he's determined not to look directly at her. Chuck's never met anyone like her in his life and he understands that she's lied to him and currently because of presence, his friends and family could be in danger and so could he. If given the choice, he would want to forget the past week but even now, he's having some trouble wanting to forget Sarah. In the end though, she's also saved his life and stayed with him and for that, he thinks he can trust her._

"I've always trusted you." His voice is soft but clear in her ear as he holds her, hoping that she finally understands that it's never been a difficult choice for him. "But I could never measure up… you know, be there for you..." His smile is rueful when he hears her denouement.

"Chuck, that's not..." She sees his smile and realizes that he's always been the one she's wanted and that he'll always sell himself short. "You've always measured up."

"As someone who loves you unconditionally, yeah, I hope I have. But I also need to be a spy, to be an equal. So when you feel that I'm ready, I'll be here."

"When I thought you had been shot, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think." She had mourned Bryce's death but she knows for a fact that she would not survive Chuck's. "I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to you. I would do anything to ensure you're safe."

"You went on an unsanctioned mission with Shaw to protect me?" He sees her nod . "Do you trust him?" This time, he sees her shake her head. "So, we just need to watch each other's backs. I have no problem with that." He drawls out the word no and finally elicits a full blown smile from Sarah even if it is through her tears.

"We need to be ready for anything." She kisses him then, hoping that he understands that he's always been her equal.

* * *

He feels something snap within him, like he's lost his equilibrium and everything that he's accepted and understood currently make no sense. Shaw stares at Eve's dead body and he can't tell if it's Moscow or LA, the scene before him shifting from a modern hotel room to a small stufy room, two blocks from the Kremlin.

All he can comprehend is the fact that his wife is dead and, like before, he still does not have any answers as to how or why. What he does know is that she had not been killed by the Ring the first time and had he been given the time, he would have saved her from their clutches.

He bends down slowly, his hand shaking as he reaches to touch her body, feeling her warmth seep out of her skin and her blood heavy and red, coating his fingers. He feels like taking his gun out and ending it all but like before, something stops him. The feeling of anger is there but so is the incomprehension of how unfair life can be. His face is wet with his tears but nothing can bring comfort anymore except to finally end all of it, not only his own life but also that of the person who killed Eve.

The phone in his pocket vibrates and he ignores it until it beeps with a message received. He looks down at his hand and does not wipe off the blood before taking out his phone. The message from Beckman is short but it finally gives him purpose again when he reads it. "Red Test cancellation denied. Subject has been terminated."

* * *

Chuck carries the two cups of coffees gingerly, not wanting to spill any on himself and almost doing so anyway when he spots Shaw staring at him from the foot of the staircase. His expressions have never been telling but for the first time since meeting him, Chuck sees something different, like Shaw's expecting a confrontation, only he's looking at Chuck to start it. "Um, I brought coffee, although you may not want a caffeine boost right now." His joke falls flat as Shaw turns to walk towards the monitors, his remote in his hand.

"We're going on a mission. I just received intel on a potential meet with the Ring Director." Shaw pulls up maps and a blurred picture. "We need the Intersect to confirm the kill and to flash on any further information we may find." He throws a small black bag at Chuck. "Then we'll blow them up using that."

Chuck swallows audibly as he looks down at the small bag. "What is it?" He's always seen Shaw as focused and cold but this was a tad beyond the norm, like he was cutting himself off from everyone. Even his tone and body language was just weird. "And when are Casey and Sarah getting here?"

"It's a new prototype the CIA has come up with. The Ring used a version of it in the van when they tried to take Hannah out. We've improved on it and made it smaller." Shaw feels the bile rise in his throat as he remembers Eve's dead body and the blood on his hands.

"Are you okay?" Chuck steps forward, his hand out as if to offer help only to be stopped by the hateful look Shaw flashes him which immediately disappears and settles into his usual bland façade.

"Casey and Sarah are not coming with us on this one. I was sent to ensure that you're a real spy, Chuck. So this is your test." Shaw had always wondered if Chuck would have the guts to pull the trigger in circumstances that did not involve Sarah in some way or another. He had been almost sure that it was the case until he saw Beckman's message and talked to her.

"_Agent Shaw, I understand your position on this but the hit has been done." Beckman had not expected Shaw to also share Walker's view on Chuck's training and had been surprised by his response to Bartowski's proposed Red Test. However, her orders had been clear and from the top and it had been for the best that Colonel Casey was sent to do what Chuck, Sarah or Shaw were unable to do._

"_Yes, ma'am." He holds his hands behind him in fists, straining to keep it all in, not wanting her to see that he finally knows the truth. That both he and Eve had been betrayed by their country and that he has nothing left to lose._

"_We have some further Intel that the operative was headed to a high level Ring Meeting. A meeting with the Director no less." Shaw's file had been extensive but the one constant thread throughout all his assignments was his single-minded pursuit of all Ring operatives. Beckman's only explanation for him rescinding Chuck's orders was the fact that he did not think Chuck was ready or capable. "I am relying on you to ensure the success of this mission and if Agent Bartowski..."_

_Shaw cuts her off, "Actually General, I think Agent Bartowski would be the perfect candidate for this mission." He does not feel any twinge of regret, only a sense of closure._

"_Very well."_

"Okay, Can I leave a message for Sarah? I don't want her to get worried." Chuck pulls his phone out of his pocket only to have Shaw grab it and toss it on the table.

"No calls Chuck. This is all part of your test. Pass it and you and Sarah get to be partners. Trust me; this is what you've been training for." There was certain symmetry to their lives that he is painfully aware of. The CIA's promises to Eve that she would be free after her deep cover assignment and his promise to always love and protect her.

He finally wonders what Sarah would do when she finds out about Chuck and what he has done, but in the end, he really doesn't care. "Let's go. We don't have much time."

**The End**

**Thanks for reading and for the reviews. It really is edifying to know you're reading and enjoying the story so please review :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N – So I blame the volatility in the stock markets and volcanic ash clouds for making my job busier than it should be and not allowing me time to write and update ****. Sorry for the lateness in posting this. I am finished with Ch13 and halfway through Ch 14 already and have a pretty good idea for Ch14 & 15. Hope you're still enjoying this little series.**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

"_**Chuck is a spy"**_

_**Sarah Walker**_

"Where's Chuck?" It's not a question that Casey normally asks, especially since he moved in with Walker. However, he's noticed how Sarah is holding her arm a bit too close to her body and realizes that like himself, she had probably gone on a secret mission. Which meant that Chuck and, god forbid, Jeff, had been right.

He's not sure why he's taking it upon himself to set the record straight with Chuck but if Walker had admitted it to the guy, then he probably could too, considering Chuck did nearly commit treason on his behalf. "He knows you went on a mission yesterday although I did try and convince him otherwise."

Sarah remembers the exact moment she decided to trust John. Not so much with Chuck's life because that was not a negotiable thing but definitely with her own. It was in the Wienerlicious when he had lied bald faced to Beckman and Graham about the both of them going after the pita girl, only to turn around and let her go after Chuck instead. "Shaw's wife is alive and working for the Ring. She was suppose to be Chuck's Red Test only Shaw promised to rescind the order if I helped him get to her."

Casey has never believed in coincidences, always accepting the cause and effect of his actions. "Brunette, five feet eight, injured right hand and a mole at the corner of her mouth." He sees Sarah's eyes widen at his description. "Shaw's wife is dead." He crosses his arms as he looks directly at Sarah, realization dawning on her face. "Beckman gave me the order last night. " He sees her turn and rush towards the Orange Orange and he does not hesitate as he runs after her.

She does not want to jump to conclusions and there could be a myriad of reasons why Chuck still had not arrived at the Buy More. She hopes that he's having coffee with Shaw, listening to old spy stories and that the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach is just over-reaction on her part.

She accesses the cameras from the store computer only to have her fears confirmed as she hears Casey take out his phone and begin dialing. She hears a phone ringing in Castle and turns to stare at Casey. "Why Chuck? If you performed the hit, why take Chuck?" The words tumble out as she goes back to scanning the computer logs, looking for anything that would give her Chuck's location.

"His tracker's offline, but Shaw's isn't." Casey smirks when Sarah turns to him.

"Shaw has a tracker?" She sees Casey shrug his shoulders as he begins to type in commands on the keyboard.

"Remember the coffee he used to bring us?" Casey only accepted it twice but the dosage was enough for the tracker to be activated when Shaw tracked him down and it was only fair that he returned the favor. "I laced all his Bamboo Dragon orders for the past two weeks." He sees Sarah's relieved smile, before she turns to retrieve their gear from Castle.

The building is nondescript but Chuck tries to flash anyway, hoping that he can contribute in some way to this mission, knowing that it's his final test and by passing it, he will finally be ready to be there for Sarah as an equal. "I'm still not flashing. We need to go inside." He sees Shaw unpack the explosives and weapons and takes the gun handed to him.

It somewhat feels heavier than the tranq guns he is used to but Chuck knows that it's part of being a spy. He does not want to shoot to kill and stares at the gun, willing himself to flash and is rewarded when information on precision shooting flashes through his mind.

"Remember to shoot to kill, Chuck." The image of his wife's dead body is still so fresh in Shaw's mind that he does not feel any guilt in pushing forward with his plan. "We'll enter through the elevator shaft and finish this once and for all." He does not wait for Chuck's answer as he runs towards the rear of the building where they can access the air shaft.

Chuck does not suspect anything amiss until they're deep within the complex, not having encountered anyone, no guards and not even any cameras. "Something doesn't feel right, I mean this is supposed to be a high-level meeting, so where are the guards and the big guns?" He whispers the words, still cognizant that they are deep in enemy territory. He only turns around when he hears nothing from Shaw and sees that there is no one behind him.

"Shaw?"

He sees the canister roll towards him and reacts almost instantaneously, diving for cover a split second before it explodes.

Sarah checks her gun for the third time, needing to keep busy because she's thinking of worse case scenarios and all she can do is to tell herself that no matter what, she'll do everything in her power to ensure Chuck was okay. She's seen him in action, using his own wits more times that he does the Intersect and it gives her comfort that she's had a hand in training him as well.

"He's not an idiot."Casey sighs, not really wanting to have this conversation with Walker but seeing that he needs to if he wants her at a hundred per cent. "But he's also not a killer." Casey does not use the term lightly and would only do it with Sarah because he knows she understands. The both of them had made a choice to take on the mantle of killer in order to protect the greater good. He's pretty sure that Chuck wouldn't be able to do so, not unless it was Intersect related, like the last time.

"Not unless he flashes." Sarah finishes Casey' sentence, verbalizing one of her worse fears, the other one of course being Chuck not flashing and dying instead. She's loved him for the longest time and has never questioned why, only accepting that he's been who she had been looking for even before she could envision who she wanted.

"Building's up ahead. What's the plan?" He's allowing her to call the shots which either means he's worried about her and needs her to focus or he's concerned about Chuck and expects her to do everything it takes to get their partner out alive.

"We track Shaw and we'll find Chuck. He must have a reason for bringing him here so we take Shaw in, alive." She looks at Casey, a silent understanding passes between them, alive does not mean unhurt and Casey nods.

He feels the blood drip down from a cut in his head but he can't swipe at it as his hands are currently tied to the chair. He slowly blinks his eyes open and stares balefully at the man standing before him.

"What's going on Shaw?" Chuck's voice is strange to his own ears. He expects it to waver and show his fear but it's flat and hard as he points his gun at Shaw and waits for an answer.

Shaw wonders if Chuck can accept what's coming and if he would survive it. "It's all going to be over soon." He's rigged explosives both at the entrance as well as in the elevator shaft. "Once Sarah arrives…" He sees Chuck's eyes widen at his words and can't help himself from trying to share his pain. "Either way, you'll get to find out how it feels to lose her."

"What..no, Shaw, what have you done?" Chuck rushes forward, grabbing Shaw's shirt as he shouts in his face. He does not get an answer and he swings his gun, catching Shaw at his cheek and cutting it open. "Where are the explosives?" He sees Shaw's chilling smile as blood drips from the new cut. "This is not you. You're one of us. You've spent five years trying to take down the Ring."

"I spent five years trying to take down my wife's killers only to find out that they didn't kill her. We did." All of the information he's read on Chuck points to the fact that he's loyal to a fault or at least until he's betrayed, then he would just fall apart. Killing Sarah would unhinge him but more importantly, it would break him and allow the Ring to get what they've always wanted: a pliant human Intersect. "You need to know that we're not the good guys. Sarah, Casey, you…everyone has blood on their hands. We've killed fathers and daughters and sons; all without remorse because we thought that it was for the greater good. What if it's not? What if we're just pawns and the people we've killed were told exactly the same story we were told?"

Chuck understands enough to finally flash, blueprints of the building and information on the bomb all mixed with pictures of Sarah. He rears back one last time and knocks Shaw unconscious before rushing to the main entrance.

He sees the tripwire attached to the bomb as Sarah's hand touches the door handle and he rushes forward, grabbing onto the inner handle before she can pull it open. "Don't! It's attached to a bomb." He shouts, hoping she gets the message as he pulls with all his might.

"Chuck? Are you okay?" The fear and worry bleed into her voice as she stares at him through the glass door, his hair in disarray and slick with sweat and blood but still whole and standing. She sees him smile and nod and her hand moves from the handle to touch the glass.

Chuck can see her standing outside, her palm flat against the glass and her eyes solely focused on him. His smile is radiant and he expects her to return it, only she doesn't as her eyes widen and she shouts his name. His reaction is as instantaneous as he blocks the choke hold just in time, although he cannot avoid the hit to his back and side as he falls forward.

Sarah sees Shaw attack Chuck and it takes Casey's iron grip on her forearm to stop her from pushing open the door and triggering the bomb. "We need another way in." Her voice is neither calm nor collected as she notes three more gunmen appear surrounding Chuck and Shaw, their guns trained on Chuck.

"Chuck's wearing a harness so they must have used the elevator shaft." Casey needs to get her thinking because he needs her to be Agent Walker first and not Chuck's Sarah, at least not yet.

"He'd rigged that too. I know I would." She sees Chuck valiantly fight back, avoiding Shaw's kicks and punches while throwing in a few of his own. He gets the upper hand only to suddenly fall forward as if he'd been shot. Her heart almost stops until she sees the dart sticking out of his arm. She sees Shaw stare at her before the men drag Chuck away. "Casey, get your car."

"Why, where are we driving to?" He sees her finally look at him, "Ah hell, Walker." he stalks off, really wondering if the CIA had it in for his Vic.

Chuck sees the dart hitting him, although serendipity allowed it to get lodged in his arm band instead of his arm. He does not like seeing Sarah's anguished expression but needs to get the fight moving to a different location and for Casey and Sarah to try and enter the building, so he slumps forward and lets them drag him away.

Chuck feels the heat blast from the explosion a few minutes later and prays that Sarah has not been hurt. He pushes that thought to the back of his mind though as he leaps upwards and takes out two of the men before the others react. He wants to get to Shaw but the man before him barrels into him sending him to the ground as he sees Shaw run towards the back of the building.

"Chuck."

Sarah's voice conveys all the impetus he needs to end this as he kicks out at the man, finally bringing his leg down forcefully and knocking him out. "We need to get Shaw."

"We will." Sarah holds out her hand to help him up, finally accepting that they're equal partners in this and they'd need to find Shaw before he got to them.

**The End**

Thanks for reading. I am quite enjoying the new Chuck episodes or at least not cringing as much as before when Shaw was onscreen. Anyway, please leave a review or tell me which quote I should use for my next few chapters!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**I did what I had to do. But I'm still the same guy. I'm still Chuck, I promise.**_

_**Chuck Bartowski**_

"Ok, so let me get this straight, you killed Shaw's wife." Chuck turns to stare at Casey, still uneasy with that piece of information, "and that's why he wants to kill you" This time he turns to look at Sarah, although in his mind's eye, he remembers the pictures of her hurt and knows he will never want that to occur again if he can help it. "So what do we do? I mean, we did kill his wife." His use of the plural does not go unnoticed.

"You mean,I killed her." Casey does not regret pulling the trigger although he does not like the consequences coming down on Chuck or Sarah.

"No, Casey, I mean we did. Or at least that's the way Shaw sees it and I think that's why he went for Sarah." It's easy for him to empathize because he's really not sure how he would react if he found out that the CIA was gunning for Sarah. "I mean, I wouldn't act in the same way but just thinking about something happening to Sarah…well, that's not where good thoughts would lie."

"So what you're saying is Mr. Perfect Spy has gone rogue and is now gunning for Sarah?" It's a valid question from Casey but Sarah's still not convinced that she's the only target. He had taken Chuck but had not hurt him or at least not directly and if he really blamed the CIA as well, then hurting her in isolation would affect Chuck but not the organization.

"No, not gunning for me but…" She looks at Chuck and it finally hits her that Shaw would want to destroy the CIA by taking away their most formidable weapon. The clarity staggers her such that she has to hold on to the chair to steady herself. "Chuck, he's read your file, he knows everything about you." Sarah sees Chuck process her words and hates the look of guilt and fear that mars his features.

"Oh my god, Ellie and Awesome, they're at a conference in Boca." Chuck had seen Shaw's face when he talked about killing Sarah and finally gets the fact that he won't stop until he gets what he wants. "If he knows me then he knows about my family, my friends." The dread in his voice is palpable such that both Sarah and Casey react almost instantaneously. Casey calling Beckman and getting approval for immediate protection for Ellie and Awesome and Sarah going to Chuck's side, one hand coming to rest on his shoulder while the other tracing his jaw line, gently turning his face towards her.

"We'll get him." She does not want to make promises she cannot keep but in this respect, she's comfortable enough to put herself in Shaw's position to guess what his moves would be. "He'll want to get to you but not take any chances in not succeeding. Where's Morgan?" She feels his hand envelope hers, a physical connection that comforts him enough to let her continue. "If I were Shaw, I'd go for Morgan, not Ellie or Awesome and I'd do it with you watching."

Her tone is soft and gentle but the only thing stopping him from throwing up is the fact that he's holding onto her. "Will you…."Chuck's not sure what he's asking of her, stopping himself from finishing his sentence because he cannot ask of her what he would not do himself.

Sarah's eyes flick to Casey an implicit understanding shared between them that Chuck does not need to articulate anything because they know their jobs. Casey switches the monitors over to the Buy More and locates Morgan in the break room, having lunch with Skip. "He won't do it in the Buy More, not if you're not there and he'll be watching, waiting." Casey runs a facial recognition program nonetheless, scanning all customers in the store.

"So we set a trap. Let him think I'm somewhere with Morgan while the two of you are off protecting Ellie and Awesome. We'll book air tickets under your pseudonyms and get someone to drive the Porsche to the airport" Chuck can see Sarah start to shake her head. "No, hear me out. Casey gets Morgan somewhere safe and we take Shaw in. We need to end this, not let him do it on his terms." He sees her processing his words and can tell she wants desperately to say no except she's still an agent and damn good one and she knows it's a good plan.

Sarah nods to him, a resolved expression on her face. "Call Lester and ask him to get Morgan on the phone and not to use the PA system. Get Morgan to go back to Ellie's apartment and get him to immediately leave through your room window and go to Casey's. Can you get him to do that?"

Chuck knows she's asking him if he can do it without giving anything away, without telling Morgan about his life being in danger or about him being a spy. "Yeah, I can but telling Lester not to use the PA will only make him use it." Chuck sees Sarah's expression and backtracks, "Yeah, ok, you want him to do that. Fine, but Casey has to promise not to tranq Morgan."

"So what do you expect me to do? Talk to him?" Casey turns to Sarah, his voice takes on an incredulous tone. "Fine, but if he even utters one word about sandwiches or any geek jargon, he's toast." Sarah's nod and slight smile does not fully appease him but at least she didn't disagree.

"Ok." She looks at Chuck, "Let's go be spies." She can still feel the fear swirling within her but she trusts him and has faith that they'll be stronger together always.

Even though he hasn't seen anything out of the ordinary, Chuck and felt like he was being watched as he drove Morgan home. He had tried to appear normal, keeping up the patter of conversation with Morgan but even Morgan had given him a couple of weird sideway glances. Chuck can hear Sarah's even breaths via his earpiece and it comforts him to know that she's nearby, as always and it gives him faith to take the next step in their plan as they walk towards the apartment.

"Dammit. " Chuck runs his hand through his hair as he opens the door. "Hey, buddy. I need you to do me a favor, ok?" He sees Morgan look at him quizzically and knows that sometimes a lie is necessary to save lives. He hates the feeling of having to keep secrets and more and more understands what Sarah had tried valiantly to protect him from. "I forgot that Sarah asked to come over for a bit and well, I need you to go out my bedroom window and go over to Casey's apartment for a while. I think she's going to be here any minute."

"Umm, sure but Casey is not going to like me going over there and besides, why?" Chuck smiles at Morgan, hoping to put him at ease as he listens to Sarah teach him how to lie via his earpiece.

"Well, buddy, she's been out of sorts and I forgot that we made plans and I just need a bit of time to talk to her and then we'll be set for our duck hunt rematch. I just don't want her feeling like she's making me choose between you and her. Besides, Casey says he needs to go over some shift changes with you as he is assistant, assistant manager." Chuck has a sheepish expression on his face and can see Morgan nodding.

"Gotcha, no problem, buddy. Just give me a buzz and I hope Casey has food. I mean it really takes time to get him to understand Fernando and Skip cannot be on the same shift if Jeff is off his medication." Morgan waves as he walks away.

Chuck breathe a sigh of relief as he sees Morgan go towards his room, only then does he touch the gun in his back holster and sits on the sofa to wait for Shaw.

However, it's the sound of Sarah's curse in his ear and Morgan's frightened voice that throws him such that he does not pull out his gun in time as he turns to see Shaw, his arm around Morgan's throat, a gun to his head. "Say goodbye, Chuck."

"Chuck." The terror and uncertainty in Morgan's voice affects Chuck more than he expects as he stares at the scene before him, wide eyed. He can hear Sarah curse in his earpiece as she tells him shell be there in under a minute. Only, he can see Shaw's eyes and understands that Morgan does not have that long.

"No" He shouts as he sees Shaw tighten his hold on Morgan, preparing to take the shot even as Morgan struggles. Chuck grabs his gun and shoots within a span of a few seconds. He hears Shaw's gun go off and sees Sarah barreling in through the back door, gun in her hand as Morgan drops to the floor. He makes the split second decision and aims at Shaw only to hear the report from Sarah gun as Shaw keels forward, his body landing next to Morgan's.

"Morgan, please buddy, please be ok" Chuck kicks at Shaw's gun before turning Morgan over, his hands checking for any bullet wounds. He lets out a startled laugh as he sees Morgan's eyes staring at him, his mouth opened but no words coming forth.

"Hey, are you ok?" Chuck takes a deep breath and swallows as he stares at Morgan, lightheaded with relief as he notes that there is wounds apparent although Morgan is bleeding from his scalp.

"He tried to kill me." Morgan's voice is still laced with fear. "And you shot him." Chuck does not expect the fear in Morgan's voice to escalate or his look of utter panic as he continues to stare at Chuck. 'Chuck, you shot him, man. You.." Morgan emphasizes the word like he still cannot believe what he had just witnessed as he stares at the gun in Chuck's hand.

Chuck almost cries as he sees Morgan scramble backwards, away from Chuck, a look of fear and incomprehension once again crossing his face. "Who are you?" The question hangs between them, as Morgan shakes his head and looks Chuck, "You're not….you're not Chuck." The words said with such finality that it staggers Chuck.

Sarah quickly rushes to his side, her hand grasping on to his as he bends forward, trying to catch his breath. "Are you ok?" She looks at Morgan although her question encompasses both of them for different reasons. "Morgan, did Shaw hurt you?" Her voice is firm and she holds his gaze until he shakes his head in the negative. His question to her though, is not easy to answer.

"Who are you?" Morgan can't process anything beyond the fact that someone held a gun to his head and Chuck had pulled out another gun and fired. He does not look at his best friend as he asks the question, hoping that Sarah can give him an answer he can comprehend.

"Chuck and I are CIA agents." She finally sees Chuck look up at her words as Morgan tries to digest them. "And he's still Chuck, he's still our Chuck." She says each word slowly for Chuck's benefit as much as Morgan's.

She had seen him draw his gun and knew he had been prepared to shoot Shaw if she had not taken the shot. But she would not let that change him or let him think that it had. He was still her Chuck, her hand firmly holding his as she looks at him. "You're still my Chuck." She needs him to realize that she's there to remind him who he is even if people around him forget. She just hopes that Morgan accepts that as well.

**The End**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N** - **I am actually surprised I wrote this. It was halfway done and I knew how I wanted this chapter to end but just did not have impetus to get there and in the end just wrote whatever popped into my head. I hope its not too disjointed. Anyway, hope you're still reading this.**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**An unlikely team can produce successful results**_

_**Diane Beckman**_

"You want Sarah to what?" Chuck sees Sarah's bemused expression at his reaction although he can tell that she is worried about him when she does not protest at his words, instead, just holding his hand as she stands next to him.

"Agent Bartowski, I expect Agent Walker to infiltrate the Ring Cell as their computer communications expert. Now without anymore interruption.." Beckman stares at Chuck as she says this, "The Intel we have is time sensitive and at this point, Agent Walker is our only operative on the ground that has not had direct Ring dealings. Colonel Casey was identified by Colonel Keller and we're still not sure how much Agent Shaw told them about you being the Intersect." Beckman knows Sarah will react to that and her response does not disappoint.

"General, I have no issue with the assignment although I think that Chuck needs to provide backup especially if I need to sound credible." Sarah needs this mission to be a success for a variety of reasons but most importantly, she wants Chuck to know that he has not changed and his skills will always be as important as the Intersect in his head. Morgan was still not returning his calls and worse of all, they had all not told Beckman of Morgan's new found knowledge.

"Very well. I expect results and good luck."

Sarah nods at Beckman before turning to Chuck, "You need to check what equipment we need and Casey and I will go over the escape routes." She can tell that he's still affected by Morgan's reaction and she knows that she can at least do something about it as she sees him go to their storeroom.

"What are you planning?" Casey can spot a ploy a mile away and he knows that Walker does not need him to go over escape routes. He just hopes he's not about to be roped into some harebrained scheme to jumpstart the Chuck and Morgan bromance. He actually cringes as the word flashes in his head and really hates the small smile gracing Walker's face as she reads his mind.

"I swear that you'll have to take a bullet for me to make this up to me." Casey mutters under his breath as he leans against the door, waiting for Morgan to enter the break room.

"Simmer down, Casey. You know as well as I do that he needs Morgan as much as he does all of us." She hears Casey's grunt in response and knows that he agrees which is why he did not protest too much when she broached the idea of him talking to Morgan. She had tried to do it herself but Morgan would always run away and she did not have the heart to threaten him because she knew Chuck would not approve. However, Casey did not share that view. "He's walking towards you now. Thanks for doing this."

"Don't thank me yet but I'll collect soon enough." Casey slams the door shut and pulls on Morgan's arm, yanking him forward and handcuffing him to a chair. He can hear Sarah's voice in his ear telling him not to hurt Morgan but he does not acknowledge it.

"Shut up." He directs the words at Morgan although Sarah chooses to obey them as well as she stops talking. "I'm only going to say this once so listen up because your life does depend on it."

Morgan gulps audibly, his left foot bouncing up and down as he stares at Casey, mouth slightly open before slowly nodding.

"Good. Chuck Bartowski is a hero, not because he wants to be but because he just is. He never wanted to be a spy but when his country called, he answered. He did it to protect his family and to protect his friends. He does it to keep Ellie and Walker and you safe." Sarah holds her breath as she hears Casey's words, surprised at the emotion behind them.

"You've not earned the right to know any of this and if it were up to me, you would be detained at our government's discretion, never to be heard of again." Casey bends down, enunciating each word as he stares unblinking at Morgan. "Chuck needs you to be you." Casey sneers the last word out, his mouth scowling. "Ellie's his sister and Walker is his heart but he still needs you."

Casey is surprised that Morgan hasn't peed in his pants although he does flinch at each word he has spoken, clearly scared out of his wits. So it really does surprise him when Morgan actually replies.

"He's my best friend and I always knew he was better, different…I knew Chuck Bartowski but this Chuck, Sarah's Chuck, Spy Chuck is someone I don't know." Morgan sees Casey's face contort in anger and he closes his eyes waiting for the hit but still continuing with his speech nonetheless. "I want to know who this Chuck is but I'm not sure he'll want me in his life because I'm still Morgan…I'm still screw up Morgan Grimes and he's…well he's Chuck."

Morgan slowly opens his eyes to see Casey staring back at him, his arms crossed over his chest. "Then just talk to him because Chuck just needs you to be his friend and if you ever say a word about anything I said today, I will kill you." Casey turns and walks out the door stopping Morgan's next words as he tosses the key to the cuffs just out of Morgan's reach.

"Relax Bartowski, she's doing fine." Casey bites into his sandwich as his eyes scan the monitors, his hand reaching out to adjust the angle so that he could see the door behind Sarah better. "She's sitting in the control room surround by geeks.."

"Geeks who work for the Ring. Geeks who could get her killed." Chuck knows that despite his words, Casey is ever alert for even the slightest hint of danger to Sarah. However, he'll never be able to stop his worry regardless of how much a better agent she is.

"You're Cyrano act got her this far and right now, they've practically handed their entire system interface to her because they think she's that good. In a couple of minutes, she'll get all the information we need to pinpoint exactly what that son of a bitch director is hiding. I'm going to take a leak. Don't touch anything" Casey wants to have another sweep through of the grounds. It's not any one particular thing that has put him on the edge but he has this feeling that he cannot shake. He's professional enough not to tip off Chuck but he really needs to look around to ensure that they're not in any danger, especially Walker.

"Bartowski?" Casey waits until Chuck looks directly at him. "She needs you to stay here and ensure she's out and can give you a visual signal." Only after he sees Chuck nod once, his expression solemn, does he exit the van.

Casey looks at his watch and knows that Walker will almost be done with her download and makes an excuse to leave. She'll have to exit at the South end of the building and all he really needs to do is to ensure that her path is clear. He knows by now that Chuck can see him on the monitors and hopes that for once, he does his job and waits in the van.

Chuck's so focused on Sarah's profile that he does not waver in his line of sight until she exits the room, closing the door behind her. It's only then that he lets out the breath that he has been holding and scans the other monitors. He immediately spots Casey, gun in hand as he makes his way towards the South end of the building.

Chuck knows this was not part of the plan and he feels his heart again begin to hammer loudly in his chest, fear and adrenaline coursing through his veins as he holds onto the side of the chair, fingers digging into the leather rests. He wants desperately to activate Sarah's watch and pinpoint her exact location but he knows that it could also give away her location to the Ring.

He knows he should watch Casey's back but instead, he quickly enters a string of commands into the computer and almost immediately, he's scrolling through the sixty or so cameras situated throughout the inside of the complex, looking for a familiar blonde and hoping that Casey's really just finding a place to take a leak.

It's a longshot but Chuck knows that he can only stay in the van if he can catch a glimpse of her. He gives himself three minutes before he knows he has to switch the cameras back to watching Casey's back and the door at the South entrance.

Sarah does not allow herself to feel anything except vigilance as she makes her way to the exit that will bring her to Chuck and Casey. She tamps down on excitement at finally getting a break on the Ring as well as anticipation of meeting Chuck and celebrating their win. She's singular in her focus to just get to the extraction point because she's experienced enough to know that close enough does not count in their line of work. She knows the door to her freedom is just around the next corner and getting there is her only choice.

It's then that she picks up the noise of someone struggling and the distinct sound of a gun being cocked. She looks down at her watch to see the small light flashing indicating that either Casey or Chuck has been caught. Sarah does not hesitate as she careens round the corner, her left hand palming the knife she has managed to hide in the small of her back.

She sees Casey being dragged through the door by two men, blood streaming from his temple and for once she cannot help but feel relieved that it's not Chuck. The guilt stemming from this thought, forces her to react in a way that Agent Walker would never have done. She throws the knife, taking out the man on his right. However, instead of assuming nothing, she reacts and barrels into the second man, pushing him and Casey out the door, thinking that Chuck would not be far behind.

The harsh sunlight causes her to squint, her reaction just a second too late as the man, gun in his hand points at Casey's crumpled body. She launches herself not at the gun but at Casey's prone form. She hears the shot and a split second later, feels the bullet enter her back, the force of it sending her crashing down onto Casey.

Chuck stayed in the van. Casey had said that's what they had planned, what Sarah had expected of him. He needed to stay in the van until she walked out the door and signaled to him. Only, she didn't walk out. She had tumbled out all hands and legs and it had taken him a few seconds to make out that there were two men on the ground next to her.

He stands up from the chair, backing towards the door, his eyes still on the monitor as he sees her push herself up and jump towards the man prone on the ground. Chuck knows its Casey and feels the fear once again spread through his veins. He sees the flash from the muzzle on the screen before turning and launching himself out the door.

He's alive and running, blood pumping through his heart. But it's the distant echo of the gunshot though, that shatters it.

**The End**

**I really thought I lost all compulsion to write so it was a joy to actually get this chapter out. It would be nice to hear if you think it was any good so please review.  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N - I needed to work on a report on my flight home but they were showing a Chuck episode on the plane and I just felt the urge to write this instead. I apologize for the late updates and I do appreciate all the reviews and your continued support in reading this series. Hope you like this chapter.**

**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**

_**Don´t you see it? None of them matters. Chuck may try to replace her, but when he is with Sarah, the light on his eyes shines brightly**_

_**Jeff Barnes**_

Chuck's eyes feel gritty, dulled with fatigue and his muscles ache so deeply that he thinks they will never feel the same again. Yet nothing compares to the immense pain he carries with him. He hasn't spoken or reacted to anything in eight hours and only the only sign that he understands is when one of Beckman's aides whispers directions in his ear and he finally rises from the chair. He feels something pushed into his hand, his fingers automatically curling around the object.

The young man who had thrust the metal case into his hand had not said much but he recognized the box. Knowing that one exactly like it had been filled by him on orders from Beckman. Still, he knew of its significance and yet, he could not help but wonder of its contents. Of what Sarah would have wanted him to know.

Sarah had told him of its existence, a throwaway comment in the midst of talking about brunch with Awesome and Ellie. He had stop short, his eyes flicking up to her face, catching her look of guilt and fear, understanding that she was sharing something with him that was necessary and yet so frightening not because it was reality but because it could be. She had smiled through her trepidation, wanting to show him that he mattered and needing to share something she hoped would never be used.

He felt its weight in his jacket pocket as he walked through the corridor, taking in the antiseptic smell and heading down towards the basement, his eyes focused on the left arrow sign indicating the way to the morgue, only at the last point, turning right instead of left.

The solid white door had made him hesitate at last, knowing that when he went through it, he would have to finally face reality. A reality that could have meant Sarah not breathing the same air; not existing in his world any longer.

He had walked into the sterile room, expecting his heart to stop if he did not see her there. His eyes had been drawn to the bed and only after recognizing its occupant and noticing the rise and fall of her chest did he finally let go, tears streaming down his face as he collapsed to his knees. His body held tense, both relief and dread fighting for dominance.

Chuck had not register Devon's hold on him until he felt the pull on his arms, leading him towards the chair. The case still weighed heavily in his pocket and he knew what he wanted to do but needed assurance that it was the right thing. "Is she…." His voice is hoarse and tentative and he pauses, trying to catch his breath. "Is she going to be ok?"

He does not want to remember the past ten hours but the experience is etched in his mind, each interminable second he had endured not knowing if she was alive. His flash during his run towards the building, allowing him to take out the man who had shot her, the blow to his nose almost a killing strike until he had pulled back at the last minute, not wanting to kill, not wanting to be someone she would not recognize.

Calling Beckman and Devon as he bent over her prone form, his shaking hand trying to find a pulse as he screamed into the phone, his words filled with pain and despair. He had held her cold hand during the ride to the hospital and only let go when they wheeled her into surgery.

Only then did he flex his fingers before pulling on Devon's shirt. "Don't let them let her go. I can't live without her. Promise me." Chuck knows he's asking more than Devon can give, that his brother in law is just an observer here but he needs Devon to make the other surgeons understand that Sarah had to live, that she wants to. He sees Devon's jaw clench as he nods his head, his usual easy going features arranged in a grimace as he contemplates what Chuck had asked of him.

Sarah had signed a DNR, standard procedure for CIA agents that Chuck had only been privy to because she had chosen to tell him just in case. He really hated the fact that just in case had become certainty and that he had made Devon promise something he may not be able to deliver. Chuck blinks as he focuses back on the present and hears Devon's words.

"She's a fighter. I…It was touch and go but she never coded." Devon stops abruptly as Chuck stares at him, willing him to continue, knowing that there is something else he needs to say. "She's in a coma. It's not medically induced. She can breathe on her own but we're not sure when she'll wake up." Chuck can tell that there are more words despite Devon's reluctance to say them. He knows that there is a chance she won't wake up but he also knows that they've cheated death so many times; praying for another chance couldn't hurt.

All he has is his faith in her and in his love for her. "Thanks." His arm reaches up to grab Devon's. "Ellie can't know, not yet." The lies come easier but so does the knowledge that he'll trade anything for Sarah. Chuck waits until Devon leaves before he whispers his next word, knowing that it's only for her. "Sorry."

He feels so small and scared and knows he's a coward for doing it now but he needs a sign, a validation that he's done the right thing as he presses the catch and places his thumb print on the small pad, knowing that it'll give him access. Chuck regrets so many things but he cannot regret her entry into his life. He only wishes that their story could end the way that it was meant to and not like this. There are various things in the small container but it's the letter that he reaches for.

_People know me as Sarah Walker and I am a spy. Or if you're reading this, then I guess I was a spy and a damn good one, but I guess not good enough. I loved my job but always know that I loved you more._

_Chuck, I don't want to hurt you and I know reading this letter will be difficult. However, I need you to understand everything. I hope that I have managed to tell you most of it already, to show you my love and to fully experience yours in return. To know what it was like to raise a family and to wake up next to you every day, seeing the love in your eyes reflected back in mine._

_We lead such dangerous lives, always in danger, always just a hair's breath away from death and I pray that despite all of it, we've managed to build a life together. A life filled with joy and laughter and above all, love. I doubt I will ever be completely comfortable with expressing my emotions and hope that through the years (please let us have years, decades, something that felt like forever) you have managed to break through to me and I have in turn finally, truly expressed everything that you have meant to me._

_I know I have told you that I have loved you since before you starting disarming bombs with computer viruses but you have to understand that even before that, I always dreamt of someone like you; someone who was brave and kind, someone who loved unconditionally and in return expected the same._

_It all started with a little ballerina but each and every day after that, you showed me just what I had been yearning for, always. Even at my darkest hours or when I questioned everything, denied my own feelings and hid away by pushing you away, I still understood that we were something special._

_You taught me more than you will ever realize. How to live, how to love and more importantly, how to be a real girl. Someone real and someone whom I hoped meant something to you. So now, I'll get to the difficult part. Difficult for me to admit and difficult to put pen to paper because I'll have to imagine leaving you not because I want to (I'll never leave you willingly)._

_You need to face forward and move on knowing that it's what I will always wish for you. To have a long life, to live for me, to learn to love again because your heart is too big to hide away and you deserved to be loved in return. Know that I lived for you and in return, I wish you to live on._

_I __want __need you to put me to rest, to not dwell on my passing but remember what it felt like to be loved and to keep moving forward. I need you to look after our family in whatever form they take, John, Carina, Devon, Ellie, Morgan and whomever else we've taken in over the years. To tell our __future__ children (I've dreamt and seen their faces, brown eyes, curly hair and a penchant for trouble and quick to love. ) that they were cherished and loved; to teach them to be brave and strong. I've always needed you, more than air, more than I've needed anything and I thank you for giving that to me._

_You're sleeping next to me as I write this, your head buried in my side and your hand curled around my waist and I can't imagine anywhere else I'd ever rather be or anyone ever replacing you in my heart._

_But we're spies and we need to be prepared, I need to think of the worse that will ever happen and I know it's losing you. That at some point in time, you've written a letter similar to this and please forgive me for writing this but I hope to God that you're reading mine first. Please forgive me for being selfish and weak but I don't think I would be able to survive reading your letter. I know I'm expecting you to be strong, hell, you've always been the stronger one, fighting for us even when I had nearly given up._

_It's unfair to ask this of you but know that as I write this, it's my one and only wish. I wish for you to live._

_For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings that then I scorn to change my state with kings._

_Always_

_Sam_

The letter is crumpled in Chuck's hands and he's not sure if he's better for having read it or if he should have just let it go. He can see their future so clearly now, a real family, their children and a life. A real life not governed by secrets or lies but by joy and love. Somewhere he had lost his way but Chuck finally understands that she had kept her promise and it was up to him now.

He's bone tired but he leans forward as he takes her hand once again in his and begins to talk. To tell her about his dream of their future, to lure her back to him because he gets that she's just lost and he need to lead her back, to remind her that he's waiting for her, living for her, always.

**The End**

**The last line of Sarah's letter is from Shakespeare's Sonnet 29. If you've never read it, it's beautiful and one of my favourite's. **


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N - So this is the last chapter. I always knew that I wanted to use this quote but to change the context and the tone such that Sarah's reply indicates not that she's closed herself off but that she's always let Chuck in. Hopefully it works. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. **_

_**Chuck vs The Cardinal Rule**_

_**Because I don't want to hurt you.**_

_**Chuck Bartowski**_

_**Don't worry Chuck, you can't.**_

_**Sarah Walker**_

_"Shhhhh." The voice is accompanied with a serious look and a waggle of eyebrows as the dark haired young man peers cautiously out the window before giving the signal to move. It's then that he hears the sound he has been expecting and dreading all along. He blinks against the harsh light that floods the room and holds up his hands in defeat as he looks at the couple standing in the doorway. "I told you to keep quiet." He whispers to Morgan as he sighs in defeat. He hears Morgan junior drop the rope and flashlight on the ground before cowering behind him._

_"Casey Stephen Bartowski." He winces at the full use of his name knowing that she's really angry this time and even as he tries to catch his father's eye, he can see that he needs to go into damage control._

_"I was just coming out to the party, I swear. We were just going to the garage to check Morgan's new old car. To see if it'll hold for the long ride tomorrow. "The grin he flashes her makes full use of his dimples but to no avail as he sees her hands go on her hips and her eyes bore into his. "Umm, come on, mom. It's not like I know anyone because they'll all your friends." He hates the slight whine in his voice and can see his dad imperceptibly shake his head at his comment. "I mean.." He tries to back pedal only to see her raised eyebrows as he falls silent._

_"The party was meant for you. All our friends wanted to be here to send you off to college. All of our friends who have seen you grow up and all their children whom you have grown up with including Morgan junior."Giving Morgan a look that tells him he should have known better and that she was probably going to have a word with his dad._

_Sarah runs her hand through her air as she expels her breath, knowing that they're all tense not because of a mission or a job or because there's a secret organization bent on taking over the world..She knows they're tense because their family unit was going to change yet again. She feels Chuck's hand encircle hers as he gives it a squeeze and just like that, she can feel the tension drain away as he speaks._

_"So, let's just pretend that you boys did not try to sneak out of a party thrown especially for you and let's get back to it and appreciate what your mom has done." Chuck's almost certain that it's a hereditary trait to try and get out of parties thrown by any Bartowski women. He still manages to hide his smile though as he son passes by them. _

_However, instead of following the boys back downstairs, he pulls Sarah into the room, shutting the door behind them as he pushes her against it and kisses her. His other hand tangled in her hair as he holds his entire body flush against hers, wanting as much contact as possible._

_"What are you doing?" He hears her breathless words as he slowly places kisses down her neck, feeling her shiver at each contact. _

_"If it's not that clear, allow me to demonstrate further." This time, he nips the side of her neck playfully before once again finding her lips to give her a soul searing kiss. One hand now at the small of her back, his fingers skimming the top of her skirt while the other held over her heart, felling the slight flutter beneath his fingers as it covers the slope of her breast._

_"The party?" It's phrased as a question but he knows that she's not about to stop him at least not yet as she lets her arms encircle his neck , pulling him towards her._

_"You're right." Chuck let's her go and immediately feels the sense of loss as he steps back and takes in the myriad of emotions playing across her features; surprise, arousal, anger and at last, understanding and that beautiful look that lets him know that she loves him, above all else and despite everything._

_"You're an idiot." Sarah tempers her words with a smile because he knows her so well, reading her face and posture, knowing that she needed a slight release, something to take her mind off the fact that their son would leave them tomorrow._

_"Yes, but I'm your idiot and you love me." She loved him enough to come back to him, again and again. Through a coma, her anger at his broken promise of not working for the government and the fiasco with her father. Through three beautiful children and seventeen years of marriage. He cannot stay away from her for long as he reaches out to take her hand, while he caresses her cheek before bending down to kiss her once again._

_"Yeah, I love you."_

She remembers the memory as if it happened yesterday. The smell and feel of Chuck, the emotions coursing through her body, love for her husband and family, fear as always for their safety and above all else, an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the time and experiences she had been blessed with.

She stares at the cold metal case in her hand and does not want to read the letter now because she knows everything. They had their life together and she had loved every second of it. However, she can still hear him, his dry chuckle and picture his eyes as he would look at her waggling his eyebrows to get a reaction. She glances over at his still form in the hospital bed. Knowing that they have had their roles reversed before. Only he hadn't been shot but had undergone a quadruple bypass. At least his heart lasted him all of his seventy two years and hopefully a few more now.

He had told her about the letter before the operation, mentioning it between telling her where the deeds to the houses were and repeated declarations of love for her and their growing family (three grown and married children and seven grandchildren. Not to mention their extended families of Grimes's, Casey's and Woodcomb's).

Sarah does not need the words, knowing that he's shown her everything in their years together. But still, he had told her of it and as she takes his hand in hers, she finally understands that she needs to know this experience because it's something he had gone through for her. He's never wanted to hurt her and even now, she gets that he's still protecting her and he's done it by asking her to read the letter.

_My name is Chuck Bartowski and I am an ordinary guy. Well to be honest, I'm an ordinary guy who's led an extraordinary life because of you. I've lived all because of you._

_You've been the one constant in my life, always there with me, surrounding me with love, strengthening my resolve when I wanted to give up, giving me the life I've always needed. Please always remember that you are my one constant and I do hope that when you finish reading this letter you will still remain so I've never wanted to keep secrets from you and I have abided by that promise all except once. _

_You awoke from your coma and we made a promise to quit and we did. When Carina called for help, I wanted to tell you but in the end, I was selfish and wanted to protect you more. I know you're reading this knowing what had happened. Probably shaking your head as you recall how in the end, you had to come in guns a blazing and saving our lives (you've always saved me). You were so angry, not because I wanted to save Carina but because I had to promise Beckman to do some more missions in order to stage the rescue. I told you everything, never wanting to keep a secret from you. _

_Except, I have. Know that every decision I have made has been colored by my love for you and even this one was made in that context. I will not use that as an excuse and only hope that you'll understand my reasons._

_We moved to Palo Alto for Casey and Josh's grade school and you were pregnant with Meaghan and we were happy, normal. I had been so scared that it would not be what you wanted but you reveled in it, the normalcy, the bake sales and little league games, even putting up with my long hours at our start up and yet, we flourished. I never thought I could love you more but each day you proved me wrong._

_So when he called, I thought it would mean we could be a full family. Jack loved you (not as much as me) but he was your dad and he loved you. I thought he'd change like you did. Accepted his word that he wanted to retire and I ignore John's warning. I ignored all the signs that pointed to his one last big score. I wanted him to be normal for you and in the end, you paid the price._

_He didn't betray you because I did. If I had stopped him, you wouldn't have lost your father and gone into premature labor. I'm so sorry for not telling you that I knew and yet I did not stop him. That I let him go to that meeting knowing that he was going to pull off a con. I could have prevented you from picking up the phone only to hear of his death and I wish I could have caught you as you fell. And after all of that, I wished that I had the courage to tell you the truth, to not hurt you._

_Meaghan's early years took was such a toll on you, the visits to the doctor's and the countless of surgeries and yet you were always the strong one, holding our family together. Looking after the boys and pulling me back from drowning my sorrows in drink. You were the only one who believed in me and in our family and I love you._

_You have every right to get angry and never forgive me. You have every right to leave. In fact, that's exactly what you need to do, forget about me but always remember that you were loved. You've always been my reason to live and even if I can't be there physically for you, you need to know that you've always been there for me._

_Always_

_Chuck_

She feels the tears rolling down her cheeks and wipes them away with the back of her hand as she continues to hold his hand in hers. "You're an idiot." Her words are soft and even softer is his reply. "Yeah…but I'm…your..idiot."

He blinks his eyes open and can see her, sitting by his bed looking as if forty years had not gone by. "You read…it?" He knows her so well and he knows she knows it too. He never needed the letter to clear his conscience but to let her move on should anything happen to him, to give her something to get angry at. None of his choices were ever meant to hurt her. "I never meant…to hurt you."

Sarah smiles at her husband, loving him more today than she did yesterday and knowing that she'll love him even more tomorrow.

"Don't worry Chuck, you can't."

**The End**

**This is your last chance to review :) Thanks so much for reading and sticking with this series.**


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